Archive for March, 2012

March 11th, 2012

Like anyone actually believed you

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

So it seems that what everyone in the police service knew, despite what the government was saying, was absolute bollocks. How the fuck they think they can knock 20% off the police budget and not affect front-line services is beyond me.

Freedom of Information requests to all forces have so far revealed that over 5,000 front line officers have been taken away. That’s 5,000 front line officers, 5,000 officers from the area of policing that the government said would not be affected. 5,000 fewer officers to answer all those 999 calls.

Strangely, knocking 20% off the budget hasn’t knocked 20% off the number of calls we get every day, it just means that there are 5,000 less officers to deal with all those calls. And we’re talking about actual ¬†police officers whose job it is to be out there on the streets dealing with emergencies and everything else, not shiny arsed stats collectors, or diversity officers, or planning officers.

Oh, and only just over half of the forces have responded to the FOI request for this info, so the total figure across the country is likely to be significantly higher. And the figures only cover up to March 2011 and I don’t recall any front line officers being recruited over the last 12 months, so it’s gonna be higher still.

You can tell a politician in government is talking bollocks; their lips move.

March 10th, 2012

World’s Apart

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

PC David Rathband’s memorial service was today. I’ve only seen some limited footage this evening so I have no idea how big the event was or how many people attended. I don’t recall seeing anything in my force about it or information regarding representatives of my force attending so I have no idea if we were there or not.

Those who have followed this blog for any time will recall seeing the different way we do things over here in terms of police memorials as opposed to how they do things in the States, where it seems a fallen officer is regarded far more highly amongst fellow officers and the public than over here.

Of course, there is a dichotomy in PC Rathband’s case. The officer did not die on duty but as a result of suicide. Few people would not draw the conclusion though, that his suicide was a direct result of injuries inclicted on him when some scum low-life tried to murder him, and that he really died as a direct result of what happened to him that day.

It will be interesting to see how the UK Police react to his funeral next week.

There are some examples of what I mean here, here, here and here.

March 9th, 2012

This week I have been mainly…

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

…sending officers to chase horses.

I don’t know what it is about bloody horses this month. It’s as if the combined equine hive mind has conspired to gather together for a mass break-out of the divisions horse community.

Horse jobs usually come in as immediate assignments because when they get out of their fields they are usually walking, trotting or running down the middle of the road. I’ve always thought it rather strange that in a division which is about 99.5% grass, a loose horse will always gravitate towards the busiest road. Because horses make an awful mess of cars and¬†occupants¬†of cars – you should see how a normal family saloon comes out of a one-on-one battle with a horse – we blat around the countryside looking for them when they get out of fields, which is surprisingly regular.

Nine times out of ten they disappear long before we get there, which is probably just as well because the average plod has no expertise in horse whispering, even if they can get hold of the damned things. We’ve closed several roads this week while a bunch of coppers have been flapping their arms trying to persuade a horse to bugger off back into the field, any field. ¬†It’s amazing how many fields in the division have little gaps in hedges which hold back vast herds of horsey pals with nothing stronger than police crime scene tape.

I went to a head-on with a horse once. How the driver wan’t killed I have no idea, the roof of his Mercedes was almost completely crushed. The horse was still alive, it had horrendous wounds. which included a snapped leg dangling by sinews and an open chest. My request for the firearms unit to put it out of its misery was denied, apparently the public don’t like the sight of police officers killing pets, so the poor animal was forced into a slow, lingering and no doubt painful death, while we waited 90 minutes for a vet to arrive. The horse died just before the vet turned up. I secretly wished the control room inspector a similar end.

Sometimes we can locate the telephone number of the owner, who is usually a member of a certain non-domiciled fraternity. It’s amazing how many times people must have let the horses out of the field and never anything to do with the owner not being arsed to repair any fences, that’s if they own or rent the field in the first place and haven’t just abandoned the horse anywhere someone isn;t looking because they can’t be bothered to pay the same fees that responsible horse owners have to.

March 8th, 2012

Women are bad drivers – Fact!

Posted in Videos by 200

March 7th, 2012

Don’t mess with the Old Bill

Posted in Videos by 200

March 6th, 2012

This is hilarious

Posted in Videos by 200

March 5th, 2012

Another fail

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

Headlines today that the police have ‘lost’ 850 registered sex offenders. Being as it’s the Daily Fail, you know it is the fault of the police. Nothing to do with the fucking awful legislative system this country has and the little understanding anyone, fail at the top of the list, knows about what it takes to keep tabs on a group of people who are completely free to go about their business every day unimpeded by any meaningful intervention by anyone.

What happens when someone is convicted of a sex offence is that they get put on the sex offenders’ register. This means that they have to notify the police of their address, can’t move house without prior consultation with the authorities and, depending on the seriousness of their offence, may have a specially trained police officer pop round for a chat every now and then, just to make sure they aren’t being naughty.

In our force there are less than 4 officers responsible for serious sex offenders. Because society has no viable alternatives to keep the public safe, the system relies on these officers knowing everything about every movement these offenders make. This is of course, impossible; there are hundreds of offenders that come under their remit and even with the worst offenders, they’d be lucky to have ¬†a couple of hours contact with each one a month. The Sunday Times reported recently that the Met were supplying up tom 60 officers to keep tabs on Abu Qatatada at a cost of between 1 and 5 million a year. How can a team of just a few officers possibly keep tabs on every sex offender in the county?

If a sex offender wants to go out for the day, there is nothing to stop them, if they want to spend the night away from their home address, who will know, if they walk out the door and don’t come back, how the bloody hell will anyone know until the next chat with the sex offender team reveals they’re no longer there?

As usual, it falls on the police to do a complete and thorough job, which is impossible, with  a few of the cops that are actually left and  no money to do it.

So it’s quite easy for the Fail to blame the police, as they usually do. I mean, it’s not as iff the press ever fuck anything up with sex offenders, is it?

March 4th, 2012

It pays the bills, and that’s all

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

I was going in to work this week and I met one of my team coming out. He was leaving the building on his way home having had his shift changed. I thought maybe he’d just arrived a few minutes before me and had left something in his car. I said: “Had enough already?”

He had a broad grin on his face and just said: “Shift change, you can tell my the smile on my face that I’m not coming back.”

And that one phrase summed up what’s happened in the last 3 years. We have a great shift, almost everyone gets along, we work hard, we work together and when a good job comes off we back each other up and help each other out. We used to be able to combine this with having fun.

There is no fun in the job these days, the management have just about beaten, hidden and robbed any enjoyment we had in the job. I don’t suppose we are any different from an awful lot of other professions. But that doesn’t make it any easier. They’re changing our terms and conditions again, having changed them a year or so ago. It’s one of those faite accomplis things where you can choose to agree with the new conditions or not, it’s up to you. You sign to say you accept them. If you don’t sign to accept them, you lose your job.

Time was when you were asked why you did your job, the reply would often be ‘because I enjoy it‘. Now it’s more likely to be ‘because I have a mortgage‘.

March 3rd, 2012

Do the right thing

Posted in Videos by 200

These girls are doing something really magnificent, please support them.

The CD can be ordered via:

March 2nd, 2012

Well that didn’t take long

Posted in The Job - General by 200

Hot on the heels of my recent post regarding Lincolnshire Police selling off the family silver comes news of a much, much bigger project to sell off half the contents of the whole house and the west wing.

West Midlands & Surrey Police are currently tendering out, on behalf of the rest of us, to private companies to take over a huge chunk of traditional policing activities.

The government wants private business to just about run everything that doesn’t require the powers of a uniformed bobby. Tenders are requested from G4S (The Old Group 4 Security) and others to take over and run such things as “investigating crimes, detaining suspects, developing cases, responding to and investigating incidents, supporting victims and witnesses, managing high-risk individuals, patrolling neighbourhoods, managing intelligence, managing engagement with the public, as well as more traditional back-office functions, such as managing forensics, providing legal services, managing the vehicle fleet, finance and human resources.”

The contract is expected to cost between £1.5 billion and £3.5 billion, depending on how many forces come on board.

This might be a fantastic idea which will mean decent profits for private business, a much better service to the public and a police service free to concentrate on saving lives and the prevention and detection of crime.

Or it might not.

March 1st, 2012

He got him in the end

Posted in The Job - General by 200

R.I.P. PC David Rathband