Archive for January, 2012

January 11th, 2012

Apparently it’s getting more popular

Posted in Videos by 200

in the ‘States.

I’m hoping that the last few seconds footage is indicative of who won this one…

January 10th, 2012

Too much time in a pigeon hole

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

That’s where a lot of people in the police service spend their existence.

Everyone considers their department the most important. The Sexual Offences Unit is out there protecting victims of some of the most life-affecting traumas. The Domestic Violence Unit is trying to stop women being murdered by their ex-partners. The Burglary squad is trying to protect people from having their lives and houses intruded upon. The DI is trying to protect his crime figures from going  up and thus protecting his arse on the chair of his office.

All of them have a ‘stake’ in the stuff we deal with day-to-day in the control room.

Anyone who has read this blog for any length of time will be fully versed with the pressures front-line officers are under to deal with all the jobs that come our way, every morning, noon and night on every day of the year. Put simply, there are not enough officers to deal with all the workload we get and every single shift every single day we tell people we are sorry but we’re not coming for maybe a few hours to a few days and longer.

When you get an allegation of a sex crime the specialist unit calls up or types on the log that they want to treat this job as a priority. When we get what might be a high-risk domestic incident which may or may not end up with a dead body (usually it doesn’t but you never know) the DV unit either calls up or writes on the logs that this job needs to be dealt with as a priority. When a burglary comes in where there is a whiff that we might be able to detect the offender, the Burglary Squad either calls up or writes on the log that they want this job treated as a priority, you get the picture.

Sometimes we get all three types of jobs at the same time and all the departments are making their demands. None of them see the overall picture and none of them accept that police officers are sometimes really really busy.

Yet when their job doesn’t get the priority they think it deserves, it’s the controller that gets it in the neck the next day when the arm-chair quarterbacks have had their five-penneth.

It’s getting like you can’t go for a piss without getting someone else to make a decision these days the amount of  arse-covering going on, so if you haven’t covered your own arse as a controller and passed the buck to someone else to make any kind of decision, you better watch out.

January 9th, 2012

Glad I’m out of it

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

So the new police pay regulations are starting to take form after arbitration sided with the government lackey train-set driver Tom Winsor.

Headline figures suggest scrapping of ‘Special Priority Payments’ which will see officers losing around £1,000 a year, increased pension payments and another pay-freeze for two years. But it’s OK because during riots officer forced to spend a night away from home in another force area will get fifty quid.

The Police Federation said it was disappointed by the outcome but would accept the ruling. Federation Chairman Paul McKeevor said:  “We know that many police officers across England and Wales will be angry and dismayed about their future. However, we entered into the negotiation process in good faith and therefore, whilst not happy with the entire decision, accept their ruling.”

Moving forward, we will do everything in our power at the police negotiating board to minimise the negative impact today’s decision could have on police officers,” which will be about the square root of fuck-all.


January 8th, 2012

Another dancin’ cop

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I wonder if he does this for eight hours every day…

January 7th, 2012

Call me a cab

Posted in Other Stuff by 200

Diane Abbott must be really relishing her part as darling of the Labour party, Not a day seems to go buy without her bending over, opening her arse cheeks and making some proclamation on British society.

I bet they love her in Milbank Towers.

After slagging off the entire entire white population of the UK and trying to back track faster than a man who’s just realised his latest blow-job recipient has a mini guillotine strapped to her top jaw, she has now accused London taxi drivers of being racist by not wanting to pick up black people.

She’s actually missed the point, it’s not black people they don’t like picking up, it’s hypocritical, privileged, self-serving MPs who talk out of their arse that they don’t like picking up.

January 6th, 2012

Just sayin’

Posted in The Job - General by 200

I got a new phone for Christmas. it’s really great, I can do everything on it, even make phone calls.

I have this little app that can tell me to within about 20 yards where my phone is, it’s not that useful at the moment because the phone is usually in my pocket and, so far, I’ve always known where I am, but if it gets nicked it might come in handy.

It got me wondering that if this technology is so freely available, how come, when the police get the mobile phone companies to ping a phone for us because we thing the person who has it is lying in a field with a ton of asprin percolating in their stomach, they can only tell us that the phone may be within a half mile radius of a particular phone mast, a much larger area than my smart phone app?:


January 5th, 2012

Don’t you hate it when that happens?

Posted in Videos by 200

Just popping in to pay for my petrol…

January 4th, 2012


Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

To the Daily Telegraph journalist who asked me for  some input into a forthcoming article on policing and race as a result of the Stephen Lawrence trial, I wasn’t even out of bed by the time you wanted my opinion.

I can probably cut down the 400-500 words required to this though.

Any crime against an individual is wr0ng, no matter what their colour, religion or size of their stomach. If it is wrong to discriminate against someone for an ‘ism’ it is equally wrong to favour someone for an ‘ism’ and someone who isn’t subject of an ‘ism’ against them should be entitled to the same treatment as everyone who is. The same range of punishments should be available to their offender as it is to an ‘ism’ offender.

Society has merely replaced one form of discrimination with another.

January 3rd, 2012

They call the wind, bloody inconvenient

Posted in The Job - General by 200

You know you’re in for a busy shift when the weather bowls a googly.

I imagine that our force area will be lighting up on Greenpeace’s forestry map of the world with large red dots showing the swathes of forestry we lost in the last 24 hours. While everyone worries about the Amazonian Rain Forest who cares about all the trees down in our county? I’m sure we lost enough to cover the size of a small country such as Wales. Or at least the 999 calls we had today about fallen trees might suggest.

Doubtless, with weather forecasts in hand, the highways authority had extra staff all equipped with chainsaws and grab lorries, er, no. I have no idea how many man hours were taken up by police officers waiting for overly-stretched highways staff today, but it was a lot.

Fortunately, we didn’t lose anyone, as far as I’m aware. Unlike the great winds of the eighties when someone in our area was struck and killed by a falling tree. There are some deaths you don’t agonise over, I’ve never had much sympathy for people who inject themselves with naughty substances and wake up from their drug induced stupor to find themselves dead, for instance, but others just seem so unfair, Being killed because you were unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the very second something bad happened.

This country really is shit at bad weather.

January 2nd, 2012

So, Day Two

Posted in The Job - General by 200

Of the New Year’s resolutions and still going strong.

It will be interesting to see what 2012 brings. I’ll have my first-born graduating from university while my second born tries to get accepted for her first year. I’m guessing that we’ll be swapping one out and welcoming one back rather than seeing two of them fly the nest.

I’ve put the usual couple of resolutions on the list, the usual eat less, or eat more healthily. That didn’t last very long at all last year. Then ‘get fit’ one didn’t even make it out of the starting blocks in 2011 so i’m feeling pretty chuffed with my first power-walk of 2012. It’ll be a miracle if I make it to the end of the month but we’ll see.

At some stage this year I think I’m going to put in and have my hours reduced. I used to work with an ex-sergeant in the control room who never used to work weekends or nights when he came back as a civvy. Now that does sound appealing. maybe 2012 is the time to do something about it.

January 1st, 2012

Always a sucker…

Posted in Videos by 200

…for a good dancing cop video.