This job’s a joke

Because we cannot attend everything the public want us to attend, people are getting quite cute about the way they phrase their request for police.

You wouldn’t believe the amount of fights we go to where it turns out there is no fighting just a drunken, noisy party going on, or the amount of punch-ups where weapons of many & varied descriptions are sighted, only to be completely absent on police arrival.

I’m sure there are lots of occasions of people assaulting each other who have the temerity to lie to the police & say that they were merely having a discussion & don’t want to press any charges, but there are probably lots also of people genuinely just having animated discussions where the witness has been a little less than forthcoming with the actuality of the raw facts.

We had several noisy parties this last weekend. We don’t attend noisy parties any more, not unless people are fighting. I was reminded of the following joke.

A man was going to bed one night when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see the light was on from the bedroom window. As the man looked for himself  he saw that there were people in the shed taking things.

The man phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in the area to help him at that time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available.

He said “OK,” hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. “Hello” he said, “I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now ’cause I’ve shot them.”

Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the officers said: “I thought you said that you shot them!” The man replied, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”