Archive for June, 2010

June 30th, 2010


Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

I’ve had a long, hard day at work, again.

I won’t go into the type of day I’ve had, it would only be a repetition of what I’ve posted several times before. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m approaching three years with a post every single day & I’m not yet ready to let that slip, I wouldn’t have posted at all.

As it is, I’m sitting in the garden with a cold bottle of German Weissbier with my laptop on my knee. The only sound I can hear is a dull drone of a neighbour’s TV & the distance sound of the police helicopter. There are times when I’d go & stand in the garden & watch it, seeing how close it was, wondering whether I showed up on the heat-detecting camera or whether someone would run down the street outside trying to escape its gaze.

Right now, I don’t give a fuck what it’s doing. I’m going to get another beer & close the laptop screen.

I might still be here in the morning…

June 29th, 2010


Posted in Other Stuff by 200

Two groups of people arrived back home to the UK today.

One of them sneaked back into the country without fanfare, hiding from the crowds. The other was driven through the crowds.

Only one of them can possibly be described as heroes.



June 28th, 2010

No surprise

Posted in The Job - General by 200

It never ceases to amaze me the many & various ways police officers drop bollocks. So it comes as no surprise whatsoever that one of the highest ranking police officers in the country, Sir Hugh Orde, couldn’t manage a simple press release to the Daily Telegraph this week accidentally had private notes about the slashing of the number of police officers, still pinned to the press release.

As a result he has been forced to add the information to his official speech to ACPO later in the week.

Orde will reveal that police officer numbers are set to be be drastically cut in the wake of the financial crisis. Tens of thousands of officers are set to go. I won’t repeat the story, you can read it yourself at the Telegraph website.

If numbers are set to be reduced, can someone please give us the power to tell the countless thousands of people who get ‘threats’ over Facebook to get a life, because the police service will not cope without the ability to prevent officers dealing with shite all day long.

June 27th, 2010

Deutschland, Deutschland…

Posted in The Job - General by 200


June 26th, 2010

We Support You

Posted in Other Stuff by 200


June 25th, 2010

Oh Bollards!

Posted in The Job - General by 200

When you spend your working life in the public eye you you know it will be a case of when you find your self in an embarassing situation, not if.

Two Liverpool officers took their turn this week in the city centre when a set of electronic recessed bollards suddenly shot up as they drove over them, impaling their police vehicle on them. I do believe I posted a video of  exactly the same situation a while back.

The bollards stop access to an area during office hours but the police have a special magnetic key fob which makes them sink back into the ground so their vehicles can pass. Only these particular ones came back up again before the police car had completed it’s manouver.

It doesn’t matter that it might have been faulty equipment, I can imagine the officers wanting a rather larger hole in the road to open up for them. The banter from passing pedestrians must have been a joy to behold.


June 24th, 2010

Money for Nothing

Posted in The Job - General by 200

Unlike yesterday’s entry, which has the record for the shortest ever blog of over 1,200 at 200 Weeks, this one has nothing to do with the World Cup.

With the current financial position of the country, more & more people find that they have to pay for others’ mistakes.

The police service hasn’t escaped. People sitting in offices with spreadsheets who know the square root of fuck all about front line policing & the needs of the community will be falling over each other in the scramble to come up with new ways to save money, which will probably enhance their own personal financial bonus & guarantee them another rung on the ladder to stay out the way of the sharp end.

The latest innovation appears to hail from the met who propose a scheme where new recruits to the force won’t be paid. They have realised that if they don’t pay anyone they can save £20,000 a year on a starting PC’s salary plus all the training costs. Hmm, doing police work for bugger all renumeration, where have I heard that before, oh yes, the Special Constabulary.

So the twist is that everyone wanting to join the force will be made to start as a Special, do ‘on the job’ training for a year or more & then they’ll be allowed to join as a regular.


I don’t have anything against the Special Constabulary, there are some really able officers who put in tons of work, some seem to be there more than their regular colleagues & some are certainly more helpful. I’d never do it so fair play to them.

But these guys can afford to come in on their own time at their own expense & pick up where the government left off. Most of them have ‘proper’ jobs, so they don’t need a police wage. Someone wanting to join the police will need some form of income while they are giving up their time, presumably they want to join the police to earn an income?

The Met have a waiting list of 1,800 who have been waiting for a place since January 2009. They had already been told they wouldn’t get a sniff until at least 2011. Now the met have realised they can get them for free so have written to them all saying their applications have now been closed, buy hey, why not join us as a Special & get bugger all until you’ve given your whack to the job & then not have a guarantee of a starting salary.

Policing costs. Society needs to decide whether they want to pay or just cut corners all the time.

June 23rd, 2010


Posted in Other Stuff by 200


June 22nd, 2010

Double scum

Posted in The Job - General by 200

The latest entry into the 200 weeks ‘Scum of the Week’ awards goes to two, as yet unknown, males calling themselves Mr Matthews & Mr Sparrow. who have so far managed to con £176,000 from a frail 94-year-old lady after claiming her roof needed repairing.

You’ll remember this style of ‘businessman’, often from the travelling community, who target elderly folk by knocking on their door & telling the vulnerable victims that some kind of repair work on their properties need doing & they can do it for them for a very reasonable fee of as much as they can get out of the victim. No work actually needs doing, none is often done or if any is done it is usually of exceedingly bad quality & takes a few minutes, for which the victim is charged multiple hundreds or thousands of pounds.

Despite no evidence that any work had actually been carried out on the 94-year-old’s property, she paid ‘Mr Matthews’ £48,000. He returned later on & got her to pay a further £23,000. Presumably Mr Matthews likes to spread the love amongst his community because the vbictim was then visited by a ‘Mr Sparrow’ who managed to get £10,000 to cover ‘insurance’ for the non-work & then a further £48,000 when ‘regulations changed’. A further £47,000 was handed over earlier this year by the victim.

The particularly fine examples of scum-sucking pondlife have so far not been caught.

June 21st, 2010

Can you just….

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

Bloody ‘ell.

I’ve got one of the micro-managing sergeants on my shift this week.

That is she is on the shift which I am controlling for. This means that every single bloody job she’ll be calling up making sure her officers do this, this & this. And making sure I do that, that & that, despite the fact that I’ll already have done, that, that, that & the that that she hasn’t yet suggested, and her officers will be doing this, this & this whether she is working & blabbing about it every 30 seconds or at home in her bed fast asleep.

I can’t think how badly her officers’ morale & self-esteem must be thinking that their sergeant trusts their skills & judgement so little that she has to tell them which end of the egg to suck first. I tend to shrug it off & just politely reply that whatever it is she’s suggesting has already been done.  It must be a bloody nightmare working her shift. Some of the officers have 5 or more years in the job, you’d think they were out on their first patrol sometimes.

And she’s one of the ‘why you no risten‘ brigade.

June 20th, 2010

Beware drunken women

Posted in The Job - General, Videos by 200

The below video is of a drunk female who gets put in the back of a police car somewhere in America (Texas, I think).

The second video is a bit further on. The sound is a gunshot as she fires it into the floor of the police cruiser.

Did I mention she was a cop?

BLUtube is powered by

June 19th, 2010

Revelling in it

Posted in Other Stuff by 200

I trust all my readers who actually do support the English football team will forgive me for ripping the piss out of the team to the max whenever I can but I’m not an unreasonable man & praise where it is due:

The England team visited an orphanage in South Africa this morning. “Its so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling, and facing the impossible.” said Jamal Umboto, aged 6.

Roll on Wednesday!

June 18th, 2010

Here’s hoping

Posted in Other Stuff by 200


June 17th, 2010

There’s a thing

Posted in The Job - General by 200

So the IPCC investigation into the case of the G20 sergeant & the female protester has concluded.

Sgt Delroy Smellie was found not guilty of assaulting Nichola Fisher with his baton at the G20 protests in London in April 2009 when he appeared in court in March this year. The case was then investigated by the IPCC &, much to some people’s surprise’ they have concluded he had no case to answer. Given the stance of the IPCC & a certain leading figure within that organisation, it appears nobody really could find any evidence against the officer & ‘trial by YouTube’ might not be as clear-cut as a lot of people think.

June 16th, 2010

I’m very angry

Posted in Other Stuff by 200

June 15th, 2010

That’ll be 60 quid, 3 points & a shag

Posted in The Job - General by 200

When I joined the police some 31 years ago, I think I did so because I had some airey-fairey idea that I wanted to help people who couldn’t help themselves. Something about making a difference. I still kind of feel the same way today in my work in the control room. I like to think that the life of my officers is improved because it’s me on the other end of the radio rather than another controller.

One of the lads on my training school course, on being inspected by one of the chief constables whilst on parade, was asked why he joined. Without a word of a lie he said “because I wanted a new suit & to drive fast cars, sir“.

Quality, I’ve been using that phrase ever since.

What neither of us said was: “So I could knock women off for traffic offences & let them off in exchange form a blow job.” Which appears to be the motive behind soon-to-be ex-PC Jamie Slater, 33, of South Wales Police, who was jailed this week for three-and-a-half years for misconduct in a public office. Cardiff Crown Court heard that he had dealt with six women at the roadside & later texted them with offers to drop the case if they had ‘a relationship’ with him.

I know we are all open to stupidity, but one wonders at what stage Slater thought this was a good idea. I guess he’ll have some time to ponder while he’s picking up the soap for Mr Big.

June 14th, 2010


Posted in The Job - General by 200

Long-time readers of this blog will know of my disdain for civil lawsuits aimed at getting compensation for matters which seem wholly inapropriate to the actual damage done. While soldiers being blown up in Afghanistan get a fraction for losing major sections of their bodies.

Sussex Police have been found guilty of sexism in the case of a female PC who joined the firearms unit at Gatwick Airport in 2002. She sued the force after going off sick with depression following a number of incidents.

Among the inacceptable behaviour from male colleagues is cited leaving topless photos of women around the office, refusing to sit next to her, being called a ‘whoopsy’ a ‘lipstick’ & a ‘daisy’.

In 2007 the tribunal ruled that PC Barbara Lynford was subjected to offensive and sexual remarks and exposure to inappropriate material on duty for more than a year because she was a woma. She left the job at Gatwick after one year. After a four-year fight for money she has been awarded £275,000 in damages. A further award of £300,000 in compensation has been provisionally awarded dependent on whether or not she is found to be ualified to retire from the police on a sick pension, if she is she will not get the extra £300,000.

Jamie Cooper, the youngest soldier to be blown up in Iraq when he was 18, said: “It is sickening. This is just not right. There are soldiers who have lost legs and arms fighting for their country – who cannot work as a result and who need care for the rest of their lives. But they have to make do on less than a woman who can’t take a bit of banter.”

Lynford is currently on sick leave while her claim for an ill-health pension is assessed.

She said: “In all my life I have never been treated as badly as I have been at Gatwick. I survived backpacking around India at the age of 19 for a few months, where I was even kidnapped and held against my will for a few days in Bombay.

“Nothing, however, prepared me for the people at Gatwick. I felt sick every time I went to work and cried every time I went home.”

In times of inspiration it sometimes works to turn to a Daily Mail Reader. Chris of Litchfield thinks: “As to this woman’s half-million payout for hurt feelings, it’s not a bad career move, is it? Move into a male-dominated unit, wait till someone says something about your tits, and KERCHING!!! Pension sorted, and no need to work ever again.”

June 13th, 2010

Add it to the bill

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

So how many of you experienced the joys of the aftermath of the England Football match last night?

I don’t know about where you are but we were much busier than usual. I wonder how much it costs the country to deal with all the football-related problems we have every time the nation is gripped in the World cup.

I bet it’s nowhere near what it costs to police the Rugby World Cup, and we’ve got more chance of winning that.

June 12th, 2010

’nuff said

Posted in Other Stuff by 200


June 11th, 2010

And on and on

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

David has issues. Issues that the police are not equipped to deal with. Issues that the ambulance crew aren’t equipped to deal with. Issues that the mental health teams should be dealing with but probably aren’t equipped to deal with.

So the ambulance & police have to deal with him. Every day.

He was once hostile towards an ambulance crew. They now have a marker on his address which says their crew is not to attend without police presence. Sometimes these markers are more than valid, other times they appear to be completely irrelevant, often the ambulance crews themselves say they don’t know why they are told not to go in without police because they’ve dealt with the person loads of times without a problem.

David can call 4 or 5 times a day. He always rings 999 & reports to ambulance that he is short of breath. Ambulance always call police. Police don’t always attend because we don’t class it as a priority one call & we don’t have officers sitting round waiting for calls. Often the ambulance call back saying we’re not required before we’ve got someone free to attend, quite often actually. I don’t think David gets taken to hospital much, I presume he just gets assured that there’s nothing wrong with him & left until he rings again, which might be an hour or a day later.

And so it goes.