Archive for May, 2010

May 11th, 2010

Another brainless tosser

Posted in The Job - General by 200

So soon after I was celebrating the end of the football season comes more news which just backs up the already bottom-dwelling opinion I have of the ‘sport’.

Greater Manchester Police have today announced that one of their officers has been blinded by some mindless thug after the recent Manchester Deby match a few weeks ago. The 24-year-old officer was dealing with a disturbance outside the ground between rival fans when one of them threw an object at hm, hitting him in the eye. The officer has partial blindness  & does not yet know whether this will be permanent.

Supt Jim Liggett said: “The officer was simply doing his job, trying to ensure the match passed off safely and enjoyably for fans, when some mindless thug threw something at him.

He may now be permanently blind in one eye as a result and, sadly, this incident demonstrates what can happen when objects are thrown indiscriminately and the dangers faced by police officers every single day. I would like to hear from anyone who knows the person in the image as he may have vital information about who may be responsible.”

They have issued the following photograph of a person they wish to speak to in relation to the incident.

A Sportsfan

May 10th, 2010

So a couple of weeks off, then

Posted in The Job - General by 200

Is anyone else celebrating the news this week?

Yep, the football season is over. This might mean I get to go to work or come home without listening to bloody football on Five Live or TalkSport.

Except this year we can’t look forward to a few months away from the bloody game. It all starts again in June with the bloody World Cup. And we know what that means; drunken louts smashing up the town centre whether Eng-er-land win, lose, draw or just don’t bother to turn up.

Since the government has taken 5 squillion off the policing budget this year, there won’t be overtime for those who want it, to work the evenings when England is playing so they can coordinate the riot squads we put out every World or Euro Cup, so muggins like me will have their bloody shift times changed to cover the ‘football disorder’ radio channels.

Wish me luck.

May 9th, 2010

Doing the right thing

Posted in The Job - General by 200

Lancashire Police are providing protection for  a wild flower amid fears it will be dug up & stolen when it blooms in the next few weeks.

The Cypripedium calceolus, a rare orchid otherwise known as Lady’s Slipper is growing on a golf course on the north of England & can fetch up to £5,000 when in bloom.

Some people are criticising the use of police resources to protect ‘just some flower’. Personally, I’d far rather we spent money on protecting such an equisite & rare flower than some of the more general shite we have to do day in & day out.

May 8th, 2010

Blink & you’ll miss it

Posted in Videos by 200

How many people in this footage must have found a lucky heather growing out of a four leafed clover under a black cat?

May 7th, 2010


Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

The great British motoring public.

Whenever you get an accident on a motorway or dual carriageway, sure as eggs are eggs you’ll get one on the opposite carriageway because the rubber neckesr find they can’t gawp & drive properly at the same time & they crash into the vehicle ahead.

The government hate it when a motorway is closed. Apparently it costs the country a squillion pounds a minute when one carriageway of a major motorway is closed, double that if both carriageways are closed.

I’ve been in the control room when some government lackey has got on the phone to the chief demanding that we open the carriageway ASAP. Mostly they do this because it is not their son or daughter’s death that we are trying to get to the bottom of but rather Tesco’s Arctic Rolls are defrosting in the back of a stationary 44-tonner.

It takes an anwful lot of resources to close a motorway. Often someone has died as a result of what in other circumstances would be murder or manslaughter, where a scene would be protected for days with a whole team of investigators eeking out every minute detail of potential evidence. At a fatal RTC you have a few traffic officers, an accident investigator & instructions to get the work done & get the road the hell open.

And you have to put on extra staff to take all th calls from everyone stuck in the queue whose flights leave in 30 minutes are are late for a hospital appointment.

May 6th, 2010

Come on, Guys

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

All I ask is a little quid pro quo.

Having been a front line officer for so long, I like to think I have a special affinity for & understanding of the requirements placed on & needs of the officers I ‘control’. (I don’t control them at all really, it’s silly to pretend otherwise)

So I might be seen as ‘softer’ on some than other controllers. What this means is when they call up to say they have paperwork to attend to, unless I can’t help it, I let them get on with it. When they ask if it’s OK to have a grub break, I invariably say yes, even when there are people waiting to be seen who will have to wait longer. We may have a committment to sort out people’s problems but anyone out there for ten hours or more deserves a break.

So it really grates when officers take the piss. If they have genuine stuff to do, fair enough, I’ll help out. But I expect them to fair & honest in return.

For instance, when they call up & ask if it’s OK to take a grub break, I kind of expect them to take a grub break & not reply, when I call them 90 minutes later, that they’re just about to start their grub break because they suddenly found they had ‘other matters’ to attend to & couldn’t find time in that 90 minutes during those ‘other matters’ to call me & tell me what they actually were doing. Which has meant that the person I thought would have to wait an hour to be seen so that my colleagues could have some dinner, now has to wait at least 2 1/2 hours & that’s if the officers are free when they finish their kebab or whatever else they’ve got on board.

If they’re dealing with a job which takes a little while, I kind of expect to be kept in the loop, not find out 90 minutes later that they actually finished the job 70 minutes ago but haven’t bothered to let me know. They’re supposed to update the control room about what they’re doing & where they are, apart from anything else, because if something goes pear-shaped it’s important we know exactly where they are.  If someone calls for urgent assistance it’s amazing how often they fail to say or can’t say where they are. I get the feeling that plenty of officers don’t let you know when they’ve dealt with a job so they can avoid being given a new one, and not only because they have enquiries or paperwork to do on the job before they really finish it.

The problem is, that it becomes a culture, if one or two officers do this, especially if they have a bit of service in, then all the probationers get to learn that this is the way things operate. Conversely, if there is a strong work ethic amongst those older in service, it follows that this behaviour is copied too, so you tend to find whole shifts either really good or really bad & they can be in the same police station too; it’s not geographically specific.

It would be really disappointing if I had to spend all my time calling people every ten minutes to check on what they’re doing.

May 5th, 2010

Tea & Medals in the Control Room

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

So we’re officially doing a great job, so says the superintendent who runs the control room. The reason we are doing such a good job is not that we are getting officers to go to people’s anti-social behaviour the same week it happens, nor that we are making sure there is a police presence at a burglary the same day it was reported, or anything else that remotely matches the practical expectations the public have of the police.

No, the reason we are doing such a good job is that we answer most 999 calls within the target 10 seconds & we answer most of the other non-emergency calls within 30 seconds., in fact we answer more within targets than can reasonablt be expected of us; we exceed our targets.  And furthermore, almost everyone is satisfied with the speed we answered the phones & how polite we are.

So that’s nice, policing is easy once the Exel spreadsheet bars go over the line.

May 4th, 2010

Another 200 Weeks Award

Posted in The Job - General by 200

No, not an award for this blog, long overdue though one is, it’s an award from this site…

Cumbria Police have suspended an officer from driving after they hit someone who was lying in the road in the town of Barrow at the weekend. This is not surprising & will be within the force’s policy regarding police officers having RTCs on duty. The matter has been referred to the IPCC.

A 21-year-old suffered leg injuries during the incident. I have no idea about the whys & wherefores nor any insight into who was to blame (it’ll be the police whatever the circumstances), that’s not the point of this blog entry.

The new award shall be entitled the “No Shit Sherlock Award” & the first recipient is Sgt Jo Fawcett of Cumbria Police’s Traffic Department, or, hwo they prefer to be known these days, the Roads Policing Unit.

She said: “Our investigation is focusing on how the person came to be lying in the road in the first place, and the circumstances that led to the police vehicle colliding with him.”

Well, no shit Sherlock.

Next they’ll have us looking into crimes & focusing on  who did it!

May 3rd, 2010

Its the Scum of the Week Show

Posted in The Job - General by 200

The latest 200 Weeks Scum of the Week Award goes to 59-year-old Susan Platt.

Platt was a manager for Combat Stress, a charity formerly called the Ex-Service Mental Welfare Society. The charity looked after old soldiers mentally scarred by battle.

In 2000 the charity was in deep financial trouble when 2 old boys left money in their wills to assist other ex-servicemen.

Platt creamed off £145,729 into another account while handing over just £13,000 to the charity.

She received 18 months imprisonment at Guildford Crown Court last week but vowed to pay the money back.

So that’s nice.

May 2nd, 2010

Driving in the Rain

Posted in Videos by 200

A quick USA video from a pursuit which happened last week…

BLUtube is powered by

May 1st, 2010

There I was on patrol one night…

Posted in Videos by 200

I’m away for the weekend so just a couple of short vids for you.

BLUtube is powered by