Archive for November 9th, 2009

November 9th, 2009

It’ll be a Winner

Posted in The Job - General by 200

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is released in a few minutes time. It’s expected to be the biggest selling computer game in the history of mankind & is set to earn more than $150 squillion in its first two minutes, or something.

I won’t be queuing up at my local compuer game store as, obviously, I am writing this at home & it’s quite cold out there, but I have ordered it. Being a police officer (or should I say ex-police officer), clearly, I like nothing better than running round the streets of the UK & gunning down anyone I can see, guilty or innocent. The great thing with games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is that you can do this & you don’t even get suspended & have to face being slagged off by the IPCC before they’ve had an investigation, because there are no investigations, you can shoot whoever you want & blow them up in all sorts of inventive ways.

I used to do a lot of gaming but always seem to be busy doing other things – like writing blog drivel – to get back into it. So I’ve decided to fall for all the hype & get the latest. I blame Radio 5 to be fair, it was only hearing the story about the game’s release tonight on the way home from work that I even knew it existed. I’ve never even played Call of Duty 1, 2, 3 or 4. I was a more Rainbow Six franchise kind of guy.

I often wonder why there hasn’t been a really successful police game, that’s if you don’t include SWAT 1,2,3 or 4 which was basically just Doom in blue suits without the scarey monsters.

I think it could be really cool recreating the whole police world in a computer game. You could spend the first half of the game reading pointless emails, hook up with all your exciting equipment like a pen & a torch & a baton which could inflict some serious damage (on car windows) & you could draw a straw to see if you were the only authorised Taser officer in the division for really violent encounters.

When you found a car that worked & had cleaned up either the vomit or the spilled milk from the previous shift, you could hit the roads looking for trouble. The control room would send you on really shite domestics for most of the game but there would be a chance of a fight occurring in the gaming world & the computer would issue a 1 in 10 chance that you weren’t taking a pointless statement from someone who would withdraw the allegation in part 2 of the game.

When you got to the fight & the really juicy action started you could wait round the corner while the control room inspector gave authorisation to draw your rail-gun (that you haven’t got ‘cos only Firearms have them & they’re not allowed to use them if there is a Y in the day of the week), then you’d be sent into battle with the baddies. If you looked at one in a funny way or used the word ‘fuck’ you’d be instantly hauled out of the arena to spend the rest of the game sitting outside an office in the IPCC building while all your mates drive round the town centre with pump action shotguns shooting chavs & pedophiles.

I’ll call it ‘Constabulary 4: The Reckoning‘. I don’t know if it’ll make $150 squillion, but I reckon it could be a runner.