Archive for January 10th, 2009

January 10th, 2009


Posted in The Job - General by 200

When I decided to apply for the role of civilian communications officer, or whatever they’re called these days, I naively thought it would be quite a simple process; current employee (police officer) is retiring, wants to stay on & do exactly the same job but as a civilian. Great, finish one day, start a few days later doing exactly the same job.

Ah, but PC Weeks, you have forgotten to take account of the fact that various departments will have a hand in this, they will have their own protocols which are set in stone and non-negotiable.

So, apparently, I can return to the control room provided I pass the required security checks.

Security checks? but surely 200 you are already security cleared, being a copper and all, you have access to all the force computer systems, you can delve deep into the databases held on every criminal (& quite a few non-criminals) in the United Kingdom? You can walk into someone’s house unannounced and take  their children to give to a soon-to-be-sacked social worker & can deprive people of their liberty?

Yes, you are correct I can. And I am. BUT, during the time I have been a police officer, I may have been a member of an Al Qaeda sleeper cell, waiting 30 years before activation for just such a moment, or perhaps in my spare time I have been taking photographs of children’s bottoms. A quick PNC check will reveal that I have managed to keep these quirks hidden from my bosses and I will be undone, never to be a civilian communications operative.

Honestly, what is going to change between walking out of the office in a  uniform and walking back in a few days later wearing different clothes? I’m all for keeping departments in work but is this really good use of tax-payers’ money?