Archive for November 8th, 2008

November 8th, 2008

Record Breakers

Posted in The Job - General by 200

When I was young I used to get second-hand copies of the Guinness Book of Records. I used  to think how cool it would be to end up in that mighty tome for having the largest collection of marbles or eating the biggest Swiss roll in the world.

As I grew I realised how young-boyish such dreams were. I had moved on. I now wanted to be in it for shagging the most women in a night, or a week, or a year. Then I got married & now qualify for entry for completely opposite reasons.

One family shortly to appear encapsulated in ink on the pages of the Guinness Book of Records is the Smith family of Luton.

I don’t know if their particular record already exists or is one of those ones made up especially for the new edition for mad people who get the record by dint of being the only person ever to have tried something.

Their record is having the most amount of sons in prison at the same time.

There’s 6 of them, aged 21 to 32. And they didn’t even all go to prison at the same time for the same bungled joint offence. No, they’ve all been doing their own thing & by some lucky quirk of fate have all ended up inside at the same time.

The 2 eldest, Graham & Alan are on remand to Bedford Jail for burglary. Darren is doing 4 1/2 years for burglary. His parents say he is in prison in Essex but they can’t remember which one.

Ian & Jason are in Woodhill, doing 4 1/2 years for burglary & youngest son Christopher is in Norwich Prison doing 3 years for theft and burglary.

Mrs & Mrs Smith have said that they’ve not done anything wrong in the way they brought up their family & blame it all on their son’s involvement in drugs. These days there is no need for anyone to accept any blame for anything as placing the blame ant anyone else’s door is now current standard practice in the UK.

I suspect they may not have quite grasped the concept of the role of a parent. They may not have done anything wrong but I don’t think there’s much evidence they did anything right.