Archive for November 6th, 2008

November 6th, 2008

Management Claptrap

Posted in The Job - General by 200

In a breath-taking demonstration of hypocrisy, the chief constable of Essex has spoken out against what he called “management claptrap”.

At a press conference this week, Roger Baker was asked whether he thought the police had lost their focus on the citizen. He said: “Yes. Over a period of time… we have probably introduced too much management claptrap.”

Unfortunately, his perceptive incisiveness then deserted him completely when he went on to be the first chief to sign a brand new piece of management claptrap.

The new document, subject of the aforementioned press conference attended by the Home Secretary, Jacqui Spliff, is a ‘charter’ – yawn – which is supposed to spell out what the public can expect of the police. Called “Police Pledges” it sets out the standards of service the public can expect.

Now in fairness, I haven’t seen the document in question much less actually read it but my previous experience with other such initiatives suggests that I can state with some confidence that it will be riddled from cover to cover with exactly the same kind of management claptrap that the double-speaking chief complains of.

I have no doubts that it will be full of airy-fairy empty promises involving ‘citizen focus’, partners & claims to ” do this & do that & the world will be a wonderful place once again”. It will be jam-packed full of the police stating the bleeding obvious like guarantees that we’ll prevent & detect crime & basically do our job.

What it won’t do is do anything to catch the bloke who just robbed your grandmother, prevent a single knifing or enable me to send you an officer any earlier than a week next Tuesday.