Archive for February 6th, 2008

February 6th, 2008

Self Fulfilment

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

Auto-erotic asphyxiation, what’s that all about?

For those not in the know it’s a sexual practice which can lead to an unexpected & sudden death (unexpected by the person who dies & everyone else who never knew they partook of that particular act).

Apparently, & I stress I have no personal experience of this, cutting off one’s air supply whilst indulging in an act of sexual fulfilment can lead to heightened excitement. What usually happens is the partaker, who is usually alone,  engages in the ancient act of "knocking one out" often with the assistance of some visual aids such as those sold in certain gentlemens’ emporiums (or seedy websites, apparently). Having been jump-started by looking at porn they get into their strokes whereupon a noose of some description is placed around the neck. The "wankee" shall we call him, usually raised from the ground by standing on some weight-bearing implement such as a stool or a fallen tree, then proceeds to take their weight round the neck by semi-hanging themselves & thus bringing their efforts to reach sexual nirvana to a climactic explosion of serendipity & a wet carpet.

Unfortunately,  many people have, during the heights of ecstasy, fallen off the stool or log & hung themselves.

Now wait a minute! In the words of some ageing rock star or other, ‘I’ll do anything for love but I won’t do that’. The riskiest thing I do for sex is to ask the wife twice in the same quarter. Premature ejaculation I can deal with but premature death?

I’ve dealt with 2 such incidents in my time and heard of several others. Someone has to tell the family, that’s where muggins steps in. You feel almost compelled to guild the lily a bit. I mean, how can you tell the wife & kids what he’s been up to. "Mrs James, it’s about Graham, I’m afraid he may have hung himself." "Oh my god, suicide you say? Thank god for that, I couldn’t live with the shame if he’d fallen off a log in the woods jacking off to photos of the Home Secretary again, I kept telling him about that."

You wonder what goes through the man’s mind just after the moment he realises he’s taken it too far & unconsciousness followed by death washes over him. "I wish I’d taken notice of all the penis extension pill emails, oh the shame."