Archive for December, 2007

December 11th, 2007

Saving our Bacon

Posted in The Job - General by 200

Now that David Copperfield is in Canada & PC Bloggs ((No, I’m not linking to her site, she never bloody links to mine, bah humbug)) is busy promoting her book I guess the BBC are looking deeper into the barrel. The BBC were busy emailing today trying to get coppers to speak on the Richard Bacon show tonight at 23.00hrs regarding the police right to strike.

Sadly I declined the offer to appear on the show partly because I’m still protecting my pension but mainly because I’m a scaredy-cat.

It should be an interesting show, I wonder if Insepctor Gadget ((Hmm, not sure why I’m linking to him as he’s never linked to me either)) will be on. 

December 11th, 2007

Up the Workers

Posted in The Job - General by 200

Sergeant Says has a call to action on his blog regarding the ‘police pay issue‘. He reckons we should all go to Parliament Square on the 18th December & meet all the MPs leaving parliament on their way home for their usual 3-week Christmas break.

The Police Federation have other ideas, this Wednesday they intend to hold another meeting whereby all the Police Federation reps will have an all expenses paid jolly up to London on the strength of the monthly fees I pay.

I quote from the Met Fed’s website:

Next Wednesday, representatives of every Federation in England and Wales will be meeting in central London to examine how a powerful, coherent and sustainable strategy can be devised and implemented. We will ensure that the strength of our members’ feelings is made very clear.
Meanwhile, the Police Federation of England and Wales is already exploring the possibility of a legal challenge to Home Secretary’s interference.

Yeah, Ok then. They’ll actually just sit around saying how disgusted they all are, someone will do a TV interview saying how disgusted they are the the government’s treatment of all us hard-working police officers. Some government mouthpiece will say how proud they are of our great police service and then spout some drivel about fiscal policy. And then precisely nothing will happen.

Perhaps we all ought to turn up on Gordon’s lawn on the 18th. I’ll see if I can get the Federation to fund my trip down there.

December 10th, 2007

Dad’s Working, Again

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

Another Christmas, another bank holiday working.

I’ve worked Christmas all my adult life, it’s gotten so that I don’t really know what Christmas is like for ‘normal’ people. When I joined the job I was a young single lad, still a teenager. I always volunteered for Xmas Day so that the married lads with kids could have the day at home.

We used to work a system whereby because we got paid double time on a bank holiday, the job couldn’t afford to have everyone work so half the shift worked Xmas Day, the other half worked Boxing Day. I always said if you wanted to commit crime do it on a bank holiday as there’s only half the amount of coppers as normal. And we didn’t go out on patrol. It was the one day of the year we were actually allowed to sit around the nick watching Noel Edmonds & eating mince pies. It was like the last day of term at school, no work and we could bring games in.

I spent the first few years working Xmas Day, then. In those days the shift rotation meant that your shift was probably on duty for 6 or 7 years on the trot, then by the time you came for guaranteed rest days at Christmas, if you were really lucky you got transferred to another shift or nick and started at the wrong end of the cycle. When I got married, I still volunteered for Xmas Day because we didn’t have kids. So if my shift was on over Xmas, I invariably worked.

Then I had kids and by the time the first got to an age where she knew what Christmas was, I no longer had the choice whether to work one or the other, we were on depleted shifts so you worked both. I reckon in nearly 30 years I’ve had 6 or 7 Christmas days off.

Double-bubble is all very well but families are important. My kids don’t get to have the day with their dad, much like throughout the rest of the year. This year I get the luck of working lates at Christmas & nights at New Year so that’s me knackered for a fun Christmas.

Still, not long to go now & then they can shove their Christmas working where the sun don’t shine…

December 9th, 2007

Deep Joy

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

It’s that bloody time of year again. Christmas Do’s (how do you spell the plural of a ‘do’?).

I expect that Police bashes are much like any other organisation, except we have to pay for them ourselves rather than the company. (We don’t get a Christmas bonus either unless you class working Christmas Day & New Year’s Eve as a bonus).

It will be interesting to see the internal politics of the do this year being as it will be my first with this shift. Who will go, who won’t go if someone else goes, who will sit on the same table as so and so and who won’t. It’ll be interesting to see if PC Knob takes his wife or just spends the night flirting with the call-takers in the hope of an extra-marital festive shag. The person who organises the event is on her top pay rate and is married to someone also on a very decent wage; they don’t mind arranging jollys at prices which us family folk baulk at, so a £40 ticket plus the expense of hiring a monkey suit means I have to cough up £150 before I’ve even walked through the bloody hotel door, not to mention the price of the bloody drinks at that place. Deep Joy just before Christmas and me without a pay rise to speak of.

Still, I suppose I could send the Nintendo Wii back and use the money for beer. The kids would never know, I’ll just blame the lack of presents on the Home Secretary.

In the meantime, here’s another gratuitous video of what I like best – arsehole motorcyclists who come a cropper when engaged in the art of showing off.


December 8th, 2007

One out, all out

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

Not got much time at the moment as it’s a busy weekend for me with one or two "home & colonials" to sort out.

So just a quick link to the BBC News website where they are discussing whether the British Police should have the right to strike. It makes for some interesting reading. A lot of people seem to equate the right to strike with violence and suggest that we go out on strike and they get the Army in to dish out a bit of ‘what we dished out to the miners’. Very strange, I was on the miners’ strike and I never clubbed a single miner over the head with a baton or trampled one underfoot. And  think if I was out on strike, I’d be tucked up at home rather than charging round the countryside getting in everyone’s way or provoking trouble.

Anyway, go & take a look, all human life is there.

Oh and the Police Federation have set up a link where you can add your postcode & it will select your local MP, you can then fill out a bog standard letter of complaint which I reproduce below. Personally, I think this type of thing is entirely pointless and they will just get electronically deleted. I think you’d get a better response with a personal letter to them. When was the last time a petition did any good?

I am writing to you as a serving police officer to express my anger and disgust at the underhanded behaviour displayed by the Home Secretary in reaction to the decision of the Police Arbitration Tribunal to award police officers a 2.5% pay increase.

It appears that Jaqui Smith has performed a far from magical sleight of hand in which the 2.5% will not be back dated to 1st September but instead will be paid from the 1st December, thus representing an insulting 1.9% increase – a lower award than any other emergency service or public sector body in England and Wales. What justification can there be for this action? If ACPO and the APA think that 2.5% is affordable and should be backdated to 1st September then why doesn’t the Home Secretary?

Has she forgotten the unique status of police officers who have forfeited the right to strike in order to serve the public? In the absence of this right, we don’t even have arbitration that is binding on the Home Secretary. Is she unaware that police officers face a level of restriction in their private life far exceeding that of any other public sector worker? Can she not understand the increasing level of danger police officers face each day? To compare us as she has with other public sector workers such as teachers and nurses shows a high degree of either misinformation or ignorance.

I wish to convey to you the sense of outrage that this action has created throughout the police service, a service that is able to function as it does due to the sense of duty and goodwill of officers. Whilst it is difficult to diminish that sense of duty the actions of the Home Secretary has put the goodwill in serious jeopardy. Officers face a prison sentence if they take strike action but for many of them this is a path they feel they may have to consider if this situation is not resolved.

I therefore seek your support in this matter by signing the Early Day Motions 494 and 512 and urge you to pass on to your colleagues in Westminster the strength of feeling of the police officers of England and Wales.

December 7th, 2007


Posted in The Job - General by 200

This woman is a cannabis-smoking, back-stabbing bitch.

For anyone not recognising this useless waste of space, this is the Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, the one who has stabbed the English & Welsh police in the back by coming up with the wonderful money-saving device of refusing to give police officers their pay rise when it was due (September) and saving the grand total of some £30million  by denying us a pay rise for 3 months, thus bringing our pay rise down to 1.9%.

Yes, I know I mentioned this a couple of days ago but I’m annoyed, bloody annoyed. I’ve given nearly 30 years of my life to the service of the people of this country. All I’m after is a fair pay deal. What I don’t expect is to earn less money next year than I do this year. My mortgage has gone up, my petrol bill keeps going up (£1.02 per litre), my house insurance went up £8 a month this week, my council tax is higher this year than it was last year. My pay is going up a poxy 1.9 per cent.

Meanwhile, I guarantee this old jobsworth above is being lauded in the corridors of Whitehall for saving the country a poxy £30 million quid.

They’ve done fuck all to protect Mrs Miggins from being robbed by illegal immigrants, they’ve done fuck all to stem the tide of chav scum costing the country millions in anti-social behaviour. They’ve done fuck all to protect the public by keeping those most dangerous to the public locked up for their proper sentences.

But they have saved £30million by shafting the police, who they know can’t do a single, solitary thing to stop them. She must be so proud.

I shall be making sure that I am financially stable with this ‘rise’ by saving myself £20 a month and withdrawing my subscription to the Police Federation, since clearly, they are as toothless as I had thought they were. If someone can actually work out the sums, let me know if that makes up for the 3 month’s pay rise I’m not getting this year.

December 6th, 2007

Anyone know how to drive?

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

Further to two of my previous blogs – Whoops I done it again and  Preparing your defence…or not preparing it – Chief Constable of South Yorkshire, Meredydd Hughes, pleaded guilty to his third speeding charge. He was banned for 42 days and ordered to pay £350 in fines and costs after pleading guilty to speeding in his Audi on a trip with his family.

The Telegraph says people are calling for his resignation, remember he was in charge of the country’s traffic policing policies until he stepped down, spookily soon after his latest transgression.

I wonder whether there’ll be another blog in this story for me if or when he resigns. I certainly hope so, he’s given me three causes for a quick article so far.

December 5th, 2007

Shafting Bastards

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

Following my comments in September eagerly awaiting the annual pay rise which we were due to have in September, the Home Office announced that they were going to award us 2.5%. This was a clear slap in the face towards 170,000 police officers and a breach of the agreement set up by Lord Scarman which would have seen a 3.5% increase as in previous years.

So the government thought "fuck ’em, we can save some money here and just give them 2.5%" It’s illegal for the police to take industrial action so we can’t do anything about it unlike firefighters, prison officers & ambulance staff, all of whom the police have had to cover when they’ve taken to industrial action.

As if kicking our pay award system into touch wasn’t enough, a report leaked this week shows that not only are they shafting us on the total pay award, they are sticking the boot in by now saying that the pay rise won’t be backdated to September, the month it was due, but they’re gonna deprive us of 3 months pay rise and start it on 1st December, meaning that the award is actually worth 1.9%.

Jacqui Smith, the latest in the line of useless tossers at the Home Office has written to the Treasurer from which I quote:

Dear Chancellor,

Police Officer Pay 2007

I would be grateful for PSX(P)s agreement that I should accept the Police Arbitration Tribunal’s award of 2.5% to police officers, but stage its implementation so that the increase is only effective from 1 December 2007, three months into the police officer pay year. This will produce a headline annual settlement of 1.9%. I would be grateful for responses to this letter by close on Monday 3 December in order to enable me to seek to bring the Scottish Executive along with us on this and then announce y decision alongside the police grant settlement next week.

Accepting the Tribunal’s reccomendation but staging its implementation is consistent with the main approach we have taken on pay review bodies. We will have the moral high ground in moving away from former the OME Index, while being consistent with affordability and Government pay policy. The Tribunal’s findings provide a transitional public sector-facing index, which looks likely to generate decreasing settlements, and will help us pave the way for the transition to a pay review body………

No I know why we have knife amnesties in this country, so the Government have enough to stab its police officers in the back. Watch the Police Forums for a sharp rise in officers demanding the right to strike!

December 4th, 2007

More medals all round

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

So everyone is up in arms about all the speeding tickets.  Apparently we’re handing out 2 million tickets a year between the 6,000 speed cameras placed all over the country.

The first surprising thing is that there are apparently around 2 million blind idiots driving around the UK’s roads; that’s not you and me, it’s the ones who can’t spot a speed camera.

The idea of speed cameras, if you are to believe the government, is not to make even more dosh out of the easiest sitting duck this country has ever had – the motorist – no, it’s to reduce the amount of fatal & serious accidents. 3,172 people died on the road sin 2006 which represents only a 7 per cent drop from 1998 when the speed cameras were introduced. While it’s great that there were less road deaths, it’s hardly a resounding endorsement for the success of the speed camera initiative.

The fact that the amount of traffic officers throughout the country has significantly reduced can’t be a coincidence as the country continues to abrogate it’s law enforcement and traffic educational responsibilities in favour of grey poles & digital images. Traffic officers are now tasked with ‘taking the roads away from criminals’ or getting easy detections by using ANPR & no longer spend the majority of their time dealing with the arseholes who either won’t or can’t drive correctly.

The speed cameras are a success in one sphere though. In 1997 motorists incurred speeding fines amounting to £28.5 million. In 2005 this had gone up to £115 million. Tea & medals for everyone at the Treasury, then.

December 3rd, 2007

Anyone seen the Plasterer?

Posted in The Job - General by 200

Well been busy for a couple of days so not much time for a new blog, so take the opportunity to have a laugh at another gratuitious drunk driver video.


December 2nd, 2007

If you go down to the woods today

Posted in Not the Job by 200

I want to go & work in Sudan; they clearly have no requirements for easy public order sanctioned detections or concerns about knife crime.

Sudan Protest 

This is acceptable behaviour on the streets of Sudan. Which is fine, it’s their country. Thank goodness they crack down hard on people who give names to their teddy bears.

Teddy Bear

 Warning: Anyone having anything to do with this bear should be executed 

December 1st, 2007

Preparing your defence…or not preparing it

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

Not content with bringing himself, and, dare I say it, the force, into disrepute by getting three speeding tickets whilst the ACPO lead on traffic safety, Chief Constable of South Yorkshire Meredydd Hughes was accused last week of "breathtaking hypocrisy" & wasting taxpayer’s money.

He was due at Wrexham magistrates court on the 21s November to answer a third charge of speeding (90 in a 60mph) in May this year in Wales.

You’d have thought that a serving Chief Constable would have a kind of an inkling how the judicial procedure works, that’s unless he’s one of those "accelerated promotion" characters who do about 6 minute sin uniform on the street and 29.6 years in an office thinking up ides to grease the promotion ladder even further (not sure that’s the right phrase I’m after as I guess a greasy ladder would just make you slip down it rather than climb up it, but you get the picture). So it’s kind of astonishing that Speedy Gonzales’ excuse for having his case adjourned was because he ‘couldn’t find a solicitor’.

Having said that I’m astonished, thinking about it, perhaps he might have an argument. I know you’ll find a solicitor to represent the lowest piece of scum who is banged to rights on the most horrendous of offences but maybe solicitors won’t stoop low enough to represent a chief officer accused of his third speeding offence.

Send him down, I say, it’s the only language these people understand, that and leaving the crusts on the cucumber sarnies at the police authority meeting.