Archive for November, 2007

November 11th, 2007

Whoops I done it again

Posted in The Job - General by 200

What kind of idiot gets done for speeding? I mean, it’s not rocket science really is it, most speed cameras are painted bright yellow & large enough for their own postcode. They have huge speed camera warning signs for miles either side of them and even on roads nearby which don’t actually have cameras on them. Most camera vans aren’t painted in three-tone urban camoflage and are visible from about 3/4 of a mile away, and most traffic officers standing at the side of the road with a hand-held laser are dressed in nice yellow coats which look like they’re powered by the national grid.

In other words, you’ve got to be pretty bloody useless in order to get a speeding ticket, the same ticket that the vast majority of the rest of us who speed avoid every single time we go on the country’s road network.

To get one ticket might be seen as unfortunate, to get two is just careless. What of the people who get THREE speeding tickets. Not only have they demonstrated a complete disregard for learning from history (their own, motoring history), they are patently serial speeders and therefore serial law-breakers and surely the most unobservant motorists to ever take to the road? How can anyone get caught three times?

So what sort of complete numpty am I talking about? Step forward one Med Hughes. Guess what he does for a living? Yep, he’s a police officer? Guess what rank he is, yep, a Chief Constable. Guess what his special interest is? Yep, head of the ACPO committee on Roads Policing (making the roads safer to you and me!).

Chief Constable of South Yorkshire, med Hughes, was caught driving his car at 90mph in a 60mph limit by a speed camera as he drove through Wales whilst on a break. He is due to appear before Wrexham magistrates at the end of November.

He has stepped down of head of roads policing although an ACPO spokesperson said this had nothing to do with his recent summons! – they made it sound like he was coming towards the end of his tenure on that role. Nothing to do with the summons??? Well it bloody well should have – he should have been sacked from the role in disgrace. Yet again we see cases where PCs are brought to book (stuck on) for all sorts of ‘offences’ while senior officers are allowed to do as they please without comment or criticism from their peers?

Head of Roads Policing gets three speeding tickets, er, let me see, bringing the force into disrepute anyone?

Golden Med leaves his role as head of road safety matters and moves across into head of policing for the 2012 Olympic Games. Well that taught him, didn’t it?

Oh, and just to highlight his bloody stupidity even more, he’s the one who called for speed cameras to be "less conspicuous" to slow down more drivers. He said more lives would be saved if drivers did not know where they’d be caught speeding. Bloody hell, he can’t avoid getting a ticket when they stick out like a sore thumb, how the hell is he going to get to the end of the road without another ticket if he can’t see the bloody things?!!


Beware, this man is an idiot 

 More info here, here & here

November 10th, 2007

Soldiers Not Welcome Here

Posted in Not the Job by 200

With regards to my suggestion for more people to attend Remembrance Day parades on Sunday, perhaps I could exclude one Hilary Beach of Chepstow from the invitation.

Hilary is the mayor of said town & believes that Remembrance Day should be a "time for peace". In pursuit of this fine belief she has asked the Rifles 1st Battalion, who are the local army regiment, to leave their rifles in the barracks when they parade on Sunday. She is quoted in the Daily Express as saying "I would prefer for there not to be any guns at the Remembrance Day parade. I am against this violence."

Following her logic the only logical thing to do would be to ban soldiers from attending.

Thankfully, the rest of Chepstow council disagreed with their mayor.

November 9th, 2007

Should he stay or should he go?

Posted in The Job - General by 200


People are queuing up to demand the resignation of Metropolitan Police Commissioner, Sir Ian Blair over the De Menezes shooting. He remains steadfast. I was quite amused seeing him on TV today at the London Assembly meeting in front of all the chinless wonders basically saying "You can’t sack me, now fuck off".

As the whole world by now knows the Met were found guilty of Health & Safety breaches over the police operation which lead to the shooting of Charles De Menezes on board a Tube Train at Stockwell station in London in 2005. I always felt it was a kind of a back-door way to get the police once it was clear they were never going to be done for any crime.

Now the IPCC have released their report, which was held back pending the result of the Health & Safety trial, which also criticises the Met and their policies & procedures.

I’m reminded of all the occasions when government ministers repeatedly decline to step down over some government cock-up or other who enjoy the full support of their respective party leaders right up until he moment when they decide to ‘spend more time with their family’.

It’s only a matter of time before he goes. I expect the clamour for his position has already started amongst the career ladder-climbers of the police.

November 8th, 2007

Money Well Spent

Posted in The Job - General by 200

So who’s done the latest tranch of NCALT Diversity Training?

I think this training should be given to Mr Soap & Mrs Miggins, they could be invited along while all the police officers who cover their town are off the streets being paid to listen to the training and then they should be asked whether they think it is good value for their tax money. I bet I can guarantee what the answer will be, and it won’t be the same as it would be from our ‘Diversity Officer’.

Eight hours training. Amount on ‘Diversity’? 2 hours. Amount on new law? one minute (and that was a line of information that religion is now an aggravating factor for some offences the same as race is, delivered during the diversity training). Which of those is more important for most police officers to do their job? I’ll give you a clue, learning that Christians base their beliefs on the Bible and information delivered at the level my primary school children had in their lessons will not stand me in good stead standing in front of a judge explaining why I arrested Sam Shite for defrauding the local benefits office (OK so I don’t arrest anyone these days unless it’s on a rest day off duty, but you get the picture).

And we have more diversity training to come (at least 4 times as much as the last input). Fantastic.

November 7th, 2007

Time to Remember

Posted in Not the Job by 200

Remembrance day is on Sunday. I expect there will be the usual suspects at the parades, the dwindling number of ‘Old Boys’ the Scouts & Guides and other youth/children’s groups and some of their parents and a some middle-aged men & women who think it’s ‘the thing to do’.

As usual it will be like preaching to the converted; the people who ought to be there are the very ones who won’t attend, ever – the low life, me generation, benefit thieves.

This week on the BBC News they are featuring the last few of the First World War veterans, there’s only 5 or 6 of them left & only 1 from the Western Front, he’s 109. Him & countless thousands of others have fought for the rights of most of the people who I feature in this blog from time to time, people who don’t give shit for anyone else.

I’ve just read a book by a chap who joined the RAF aged 15 during the Second World War, was promoted to Flight Sergeant at the age of 17 and a captured POW when his Lancaster collided with an aircraft over Germany. I dread to think what would happen to this country if similar circumstances arose and they had to call up some of the youth of today.

They won’t go to the service on Sunday, but if you can, especially if you haven’t been before, you should. Give up an hour of your time to remember those of have laid down their lives.

November 6th, 2007

Witness for the defence

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

I sat next to Gail again this week. That was a mistake, although I didn’t have a lot of choice; where we sit and what radio channels we cover is decided by the supervisors, who don’t pay much attention to the old thought process which goes along the lines of ‘make sure your staff are happy and they will work better for you’. Mind you, that applies to the rest of the police management who don’t appear to have a clue how to go about getting the best out of the workforce.

She’d only been sitting beside me for a few minutes when the tell-tale signs activated. She started breathing heavily through her nose when reading logs, a bit like a horse snorting. Phonecalls to people were short and rather snappy. The keyboard was being hit a little harder than usual.

This went on for about an hour. Knowing I had another 9 hours to go putting up with this I made a little comment along the lines of "relax a little, don’t take it all so personally."

I looked around a minute or 2 later and she was gone. Someone said they saw her in the rest room crying.

She’s off sick at the moment, rumours are it’s stress related.

I’m expecting to see my name on some law suit sooner or later.

November 5th, 2007

Have a Safe Trip

Posted in The Job - General by 200

What is it about seeing a police car which turns presumably otherwise reasonable sensible people into idiots?

Next time a police vehicle pulls you over, please pull as far to the nearside as possible and don’t leave your arse on offer otherwise this might happen:


November 4th, 2007

Time is running out…

Posted in Other Stuff by 200

For me to put a post up for the 4th of November in order to maintain my all time world record of a post a day for, er, quite a few days. So here’s a gratuitous photograph.

I don’t know who this is but I think I’ve been out with her! 



November 3rd, 2007

Blog Updates

Posted in Blogging by 200

Well it seems the recent changes to the ‘back end’ I made have speeded up the site a bit with nobody reporting hung pages or dreadful loading times for a while now.

It appears that Belfast Peeler has given up the blog, all blog entries have been removed apart from the most current which appears to suggest someone at PSNI has found him out, if that’s true, that’s a shame, another nail in the coffin for police bloggers.

The Sleepy Policeman hasn’t posted since the beginning of July so I’ve removed that blog from the list. Police Camera Paperwork & Unlikely Cop haven’t blogged for a several weeks, will keep an eye on that to see if it’s just a temporary lapse.

I used to have a link to Police.UK which was the government Police portal set up when the domain name was first registered. There’s a limp message on the front page saying the service is no longer available. I’m not sure what happened there, maybe nobody used it.

And yes, this little roundup is just a way of making sure I have a post every day which so far I’ve managed since the 13th September!


November 2nd, 2007

Fame & Fortune Awaits

Posted in Blogging by 200

I got a pleasant surprise today. I went to check the forums over at as I usually do a couple of times a week, to see that they have a new design for the website. On the front page is a small section called "Police Blog Friends"  in which they link to yours truly together with a small select bunch of "WhichEndBites", "Toytown" & "Planet Police".

So welcome to anyone who might have clicked on that link!!

November 1st, 2007

The Grim Smell of Death

Posted in The Job - General by 200

Post mortems can be really interesting.

I haven’t been to one for a while but I’ve been to a fair few in my time.

Back in the day, going to a post mortem (pm) was an essential part of police training. Every probationer had to go to one.It was part of the ‘toughening-up’ education of an officer. Everyone has to deal with a dead body so get them in there under controlled conditions to see what death looks like, feels like and smells like. In a mortuary, it doesn’t matter if you throw up or faint, this isn’t the case in Mrs Miggins’ front room.

During my time as a tutor constable I used to arrange a PM for all my probationers. Some of the pathologists loved it; I guess they didn’t have too many opportunities to show off their skills and wax lyrical on the average weight of a human lung or displaying the fatty deposits inside the blood vessels to the heart. If you could ignore the smell it could be a fascinating journey through the biology you only touched on in school.

The body is usually prepared by a mortician. These are a unique band of people who spend their day cutting the tops off people’s heads with electric saws, crunching through rib cages with enormous pliers & opening up the body cavities for people with far more training to paw over in the search for a cause of death. Most morticians are male and most of the ones I’ve met are short. I don’t know what, if anything, that says about them.

I rang one once to ask what he had on for the next few days as I had a bunch of probationers to entertain. He told me they had, among others, a railway suicide tee’d up for the following day so I said we’d be there.

When we arrived I was greeted by Eric who, after handing out overalls & rubber boots, treated us to a tour of the mortuary of the old county hospital. There were 3 bodies laid out. Two had been prepared and the third was being saved for us to witness the delicate skills of a mortician at work. "NO don’t stand there sonney, not unless you want bits of skull sprayed all over your face." he said powering up the little circular saw.

The railway suicide was reasonable obvious, it was the one which had been cut neatly in two through the stomach. I don’t know if Eric had a particularly sick sense of humour or just a general irreverrance for the dead but it did look rather strange seeing the top half of the body laid on its back, all internal organs open for display while the bottom half which consisted of the bum and the legs facing downwards so the bum was facing the sky, separated from the torso by a couple of inches.

It was surprising how many of the 5 or 6 probationers didn’t notice until the pathologist made a comment & Eric had to turn the bum round the right way.