Archive for July 3rd, 2006

July 3rd, 2006

Early Arrests Anticipated

Posted in Not the Job by 200

So, England are out of the World Cup. Police officers on nights or lates up & down the country can breath a sigh of relief.

The surprise is not so much that

England got knocked out, more that they lasted so long given the distinctly average skill levels exhibited on the pitch thus far.

Unsurprisingly, after the defeat the ‘fans’ did their usual & created havoc in most areas of our force. Disorder levels rose almost to the heights of a New Year’s Eve. Police riot vans went from job to job as disillusioned football supporters ran amok overturning bins, ripping up flower pots, smashing windows, walking over parked cars, ripping off wing mirrors & battering both each other & anyone else who happened to be close by.

England might be crap at football but they don’t go out on penalties when it comes to disorder.

Still, I suppose we shouldn’t expect much more when they have the likes of Wine Rrrroooooni to look up to. There’s someone who hasn’t learned a thing about social responsibility.

It’s such a shame the game of football is so popular. It really has nothing to recommend it as any form of social model; it’s a game epitomised by greed & cheating. Players drop quicker & more frequently than the sacks at Tesco’s potato delivery bays. They role around the grass with more  finesse than a bunch of Oscar-winning luvvies & then rise quicker than Lazarus in efforts to get a free kick, penalty or booking.

I find it hard to accept that people with such levels of skill in their chosen sport can think it acceptable to cheat in such a blatant and outrageous manner. Their every move is followed in close-up by half-a-dozen cameras and several million viewers who can see their deceptions played over & over, dissected in minute detail yet they do it again & again.

Given that a match or competition can be won & lost on who cheats best it follows that many millions of cash can be similarly won or lost on a player’s performance. Not only the fame & fortunes of a world cup are at stake, what about all the bonuses in cash, cars & other delights, increased earnings through sponsorship, future wage increases through transfers?

I’m thinking of ringing the local old bill & reporting a criminal deception & demanding the arrest of any footballer who has obtained a pecuniary advantage through cheating (that’ll be most of the premier league and national teams, then).

With the current National Crime Recording Standards they’ll have to investigate, won’t they?