Archive for the Other Stuff category

February 15th, 2012

England

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January 23rd, 2012

Letter to the Bish

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Dear Bishop of Ripon,

My dad earns around £26,000 a year. He has worked all his life since the age of 18 and has never claimed any benefits. He has paid tax every month since August 1978, he has paid National Insurance for the same amount of time. Our Mum gave up work when we were born so our Mum and Dad could give us the best start in life, nurture us and bring us up to be loving and giving. We, too, intend to get jobs and spend our lives paying taxes and National Insurance.

As a result of our parents’ decisions, they spent 2o years in debt. We never had a foreign holiday, our cars were always between 8 and 15 years old. We did not qualify for the free money that the government gave for staying at school to our friends whose parent’s were claiming benefits even though they had cars which were only 2 or 3 years old and went abroad 3 times a year.

Out of our Dad’s £26,000, or whatever is left after all his taxes are paid, he has to pay for our house because our parents thought buying a house was the best thing for the future, even though they were ripped off by greedy men who told them to pay something called an endowment which would pay off their mortgage after 30 years and leave them with a nest egg. They won’t have a nest egg and will have to find many thousands of pounds because their endowments were worthless despite what the greedy men told them. They were told this was what was called ‘tough shit’ and they couldn’t do anything about it.

What is left from this £26,000, minus the taxes, and the mortgage is what we have to live on. Our parents are paying towards our university education because they want us to have a good job to be able to pay our taxes and they don’t want us to have as much debt as the government wants us to have. They said this was the responsible thing to do, though we have been told that if we do not want to do this and want to get pregnant and not work we can have even more than £26,000 if you have your way.

We heard on the radio that if the government stop all the families who claim all this free money which is the equivalent of £35,000 for anyone who pays taxes, then this will mean children will starve because it penalises children. We were sad about this but wondered whether not working penalised children even more. We know some friends at school who earn more than our dad but lots of them earn less and we have never seen any of the children at school whose families earn as much as £26,000 begging for food. We aren’t the best mathematicians but we do find it strange that most people who work get about £25,000 a year but families who don’t work can get £35,000 or more if they ‘bang a few sprogs out’, as dad likes to say.

It is really good that you want to give more free money away because you feel that families cannot survive on such meagre rations, so if that is the case can you please see your way clear to stop the government making my Dad’s £26,000 – minus taxes – stretch even less with inflation, wage cuts and pay freezes, and once you have done that, can he have some free money to put his income on a par with families who don’t work. Because it seems a bit unfair to say that familes who don’t work have starving children on £26,000 but families who do work’s children aren’t starving.

Thank you.

With love,

The Weeklings

January 18th, 2012

No Post

Posted in Other Stuff by 200

I’m not posting today in solidarity with people concerned about the USA government and their attempts to run the internet via their proposed SOPA & PIPA Bills which will see the introduction of the right of large corporations to shut down access to free and legal content under the guise of protection of copyright.

This will have far-reaching consequences to anyone using the internet and not just US citizens.

https://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/SOPA/Blackoutpage

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:SOPA_initiative/Learn_more

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhwuXNv8fJM

January 7th, 2012

Call me a cab

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Diane Abbott must be really relishing her part as darling of the Labour party, Not a day seems to go buy without her bending over, opening her arse cheeks and making some proclamation on British society.

I bet they love her in Milbank Towers.

After slagging off the entire entire white population of the UK and trying to back track faster than a man who’s just realised his latest blow-job recipient has a mini guillotine strapped to her top jaw, she has now accused London taxi drivers of being racist by not wanting to pick up black people.

She’s actually missed the point, it’s not black people they don’t like picking up, it’s hypocritical, privileged, self-serving MPs who talk out of their arse that they don’t like picking up.

December 25th, 2011

Merry Christmas

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Happy Christmas

and a safe and peacfeul 2012

especially to all those who have to work while everyone is celebrating

and to those away from their loved ones, stay safe.

 

December 7th, 2011

Do the right thing

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Support this recording.

Amazon pre-order

That is all.

 

November 29th, 2011

Just for a change

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A little light-hearted frippery apparently all gleaned from the reports of medical secretaries  in the Glasgow area (but probably made up).

1. The patient has no previous history of suicide.

2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.

3. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.

29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

November 11th, 2011

In Remembrance

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My favourite war poem, quite apt in view of the recent sad death of two Red Arrows…

High Flight

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

Of sun-split clouds – and done a hundred things

You have not dreamed of – wheeled and soared and swung

High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there

I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung

My eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,

I’ve topped the windswept heights with easy grace

Where never lark, or even eagle flew –

And, while with silent lifting mind I’ve trod

The high untresspassed sanctity of space,

Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

Pilot Officer Gillespie Magee
No 412 squadron, RCAF
Killed 11 December 1941

 

November 9th, 2011

I feel some time-wasting coming on

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So, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 is out. I might be busy for a while.

I used to play a lot of online stuff like this, notably Rainbow Six and its derivatives, years ago. There’s nothing like shooting the hell out of  hundreds of gooks, whatever form they take.

The problem is that as the years have advanced, the reactions have retreated and I can now easily get my butt kicked online by one of my children. Age is a terrible thing sometimes.

The trouble is I start to visualise people I know standing in front of me and just ripe for a raking with a .50 cal mini-gun. I could do society some big favours with just one M16 and a rucksack full of ammo.

Anyway, MW3 has just about loaded onto the PC (I’m not an X-Box/PS3 kind of guy). I’m going in.

I might be some time.

October 29th, 2011

Bugger

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Well, I’m back from a well-earned break. As far as I’m aware, I haven’t been sacked whilst I was away for gross negligence, and there haven’t been any riots. Not at home at least, though I did have the privilege of seeing one of those anti globalism demos and there wasn’t a rock thrown or window smashed in sight. There wwre lots of people, lots of banners and signs and whistles but not a sign of any trouble and nobody setting up tents on other people’s property.

Only a day to go then it’s back with the nose to the grindstone until next years’ batch of annual leave, which might be a long time coming what with the ban on annual leave during the extended Olympics period nest summer.

Damn, I think I’ve just depressed myself, and after such a wonderful break with Mrs Weeks and the Weeklings, too.

 

October 26th, 2011

LOL

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October 18th, 2011

Quel surprise

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So the official report on Liam Fix is out today. I don’t suppose anyone is in the least bit surprised at the findings.

It seems everyone knew what he was up to, and several of them warned him about it, yet he still continued. If the report comes to the conclusion he breached the ministerial code, I;m bloody sure Fox himself knew, oh, sorry, I forgot, he’s an MP and therefore has the brains of carrot and the morals of something that doesn’t have any morals.

The report shows Werrity was  security risk. Still Fox can bask in the glory that he has been found not to have made any money from the debacle. The fact that tens of thousands of pounds changed hand at his behest in order to fund his pal’s jollies abroad is clearly of no relevance.

It only goes to prove to me what a gutless wonder Cameron is. If he didn’t know within five minutes of the story breaking what his minister had been up to then clearly he isn’t fit to lead a queue for the bogs, much less the country.

October 14th, 2011

I suppose 3 days isn’t too bad

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Well, my post of 3 days ago was answered today when self-serving nepotist,  Liam Fox,  finally resigned when he realised the game was up and the information likely to come out would really stuff him big time decided he wanted to save the MOD from further disruption.

I can’t wait to hear the result of the parliamentary investigation to see if they get to the bottom, and release details, of exactly what a government minister thought he was doing taking his best mate to meetings, allowing him to stay rent free in his house (wasn’t another MP sacked for the same thing in the MP expenses debacle?), sorting out business deals, pretending he was an official advisor, sorting out free money to pay for his mate’s travel expenses, etc, etc, etc.

I’m not sure why Cameron felt the need to wait until after the investigation before deciding whether or not to relieve Fox of his duties, surely he could just have spoken to Fox and asked him what he was playing at and then told the country he was sacking him or that he’d done nothing wrong, perhaps he doesn’t trust his own parliamentary colleagues?

Cameron must be wondering if the week  could get any worse until it did with the revelation of Tory clown, Oliver Letwin, who feels the best way to deal with parliamentary paperwork is to dump it in a bin in a local park on the way to work.

Why do we allow fucking idiots to run the country?

 

October 11th, 2011

No fairy

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One would have hoped the person in charge of defence of the nation might be someone you could trust to have impeccable decision-making abilities (if you didn’t realise that person was a politician and therefore exempt from any kind of morally non-corrupt motives).

Liam Fox really must think we fell off a Christmas tree if we are to believe his assertion that taking his best mate on a third of his official government business trips abroad, letting him meet decision-makers and business leaders and allowing his mate to introduce himself as Fox’s personal advisor was nothing more than  seeking out the company of a mate.

As each hour goes by another witness steps up to the plate to say they thought Adam Werritty was acting in an official government capacity.

I trust Fox won’t last much longer.

September 11th, 2011

Is it really 10 years?

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In memory

August 23rd, 2011

Here be dragons

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So Mrs Weeks, the kiddies and I got back from our holiday. While Mrs W put the kettle on I checked the mail, the kids either made for the TV or Facebook or both.

I had two letters from HM Customs & Exise. The first one was summary of the child tax credit I was allowed last year. The second one was confirmation that the allowance this year amounted to zero pounds zero pence. Good old government, somebody has to pay for those cancelled riot-related holidays.

After the general depression of reading the mail I decided to retire to what I euphemistically call my ‘upstairs office’ – I have a downstairs office too. Second to sleeping in my own bed after a holiday, I like using my own toilet for the first time in 2 weeks.

So, magazine in hand, I made my way upstairs, stopping briefly to admire the new wallpaper & painted woodwork in the master bedroom, which had been redecorated whilst we were away. For the last few years we’ve paid someone to decorate various parts of the house when we’ve been on holiday to minimse the disruption.

The guy who we always use had, as usual, done a good job, so it was with a smile on my face with thoughts of HMR&C now fading into the distance I entered the bathroom.

It was when I lifted the lid that I discovered the decorator had left us more than glossy skirting boards; there, staring up at me was the biggest turd I had ever seen in my entire life. I almost jumped back, it was like walking round the corner right into the path of a huge grizzly bear.

I was simultaneously shocked, amazed and confused. How the bloody hell did that get out of a human being? It looked more like something a blue whale might have deposited. I wondered whether to check the house just in case the decorator had crawled away & died of some incredible rupture. Either that or he had an anal caesarean. I truly had seen bigger babies. I was sure a U-boat commander popped his head out the top of the turd and surrendered.

I called down to Mrs W and told her to deduct £100 from his bill – we’d need to get the council contractors in to remove it and the child tax credits were no longer going to cut it. “It’s no good Mr Weeks, we’re going to have to remove the bathroom window to get it out of the house.”

I tentatively reached across the bowl to press the flush button, half expecting the bloody thing to leap up and drag me down the pan by the neck, the ignominy of being found with just my shoes sticking out of the toilet was too much.

I pushed the button on the cistern and to my absolute amazement the turd disappeared down the pipes & hopefully out into the bowels of the street. I made a mental note to call the people at the Thames Barrier just to make sure the thing was open. I prayed it was able to leave the sewage system from my house & out into the mix of everyone else in the street, the town, the country, I mean who would believe it wasn’t mine.

I suddenly wanted to return to the hotel to use their facilities once again, mentally traumatised against sitting on my own bog. How could I possibly spend 45 minutes doing nothing but reading on that toilet ever again?

I staggered off to the en suite wondering whether it was all real or I;d just awoken from some terrible nightmare. Still, it could have been worse I suppose, at least all the silver was still in place & it hadn’t been left on the pillow.

NB: This story is true, I have no idea whether I can look the decorator in the eye again.

August 4th, 2011

What a w*nker

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Regular readers will know of my dislike, nay disgust, with professional footballers, particularly in the Premiership so will not be surprised at another post about convicted criminal Joey Barton appearing in this blog once again.

He has, at last, been effectively sacked from Newcastle United following his continued online rants at the team on his Twitter page after they gave him a second, or was it a third, chance by taking him back after he was jailed for a viscous assault.

What really struck me on the BBC News report was a comment from his agent, Willie Mackay, who said when talking about negotiations on Barton’s contract with the club: “There was no way we were going to take a cut in his wages.”

That, in a time when police officers, nurses, and people who actually do the country some good rather than self-serving, ego-inflated, thugs who think the world revolves around them, are taking huge pay cuts or being made redundant.

Barton earns £70,000 per week kicking people about, a ball around a park.

July 9th, 2011

Unemployment figures rise

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Hello, sorry, I can’t get to the phone right now but if you leave a message, someone from the News of the World will get back to you shortly. Actually, they won’t now.

Why did the News of the World reporter cross the road?

To go for an interview with the Sun on Sunday.

No seriously, I’m a little upset that the News of the World is closing today, it means I’ll have to start paying for Andrex again.

And finally…

My work here is done.

June 25th, 2011

In recognition

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June 21st, 2011

I’m supporting Armed Forces Day

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I’ve not seen much about this but I noticed a flag flying on my way home from work this week & looked it up when I got home.

Saturday 25th June is Armed Forces Day. This is a day to recognise and support those in the armed forces of the UK. The central event to mark the day takes part in Edinburgh  bit there are event sup and down the country, you can see details on the website on the previous link.

I was struck by this story which appeared in the Currant Bun this week.

David Hart, aged 23, a Royal Marines Commando, was killed in Afghanistan a year ago, he was the 101st soldier to die in the Sangin region of the country. He had previously taken out a life insurance policy for £250,000 should anything happen to him.

His wishes stipulated that should he be killed, £100,000  should be used to pay for his friends & their girlfriends to go to Las Vegas for a huge party in his memory. They set off for the party this week.

David also left £50,000 to a charity supporting injured marines.