Record Breakers
When I was young I used to get second-hand copies of the Guinness Book of Records. I used to think how cool it would be to end up in that mighty tome for having the largest collection of marbles or eating the biggest Swiss roll in the world.
As I grew I realised how young-boyish such dreams were. I had moved on. I now wanted to be in it for shagging the most women in a night, or a week, or a year. Then I got married & now qualify for entry for completely opposite reasons.
One family shortly to appear encapsulated in ink on the pages of the Guinness Book of Records is the Smith family of Luton.
I don’t know if their particular record already exists or is one of those ones made up especially for the new edition for mad people who get the record by dint of being the only person ever to have tried something.
Their record is having the most amount of sons in prison at the same time.
There’s 6 of them, aged 21 to 32. And they didn’t even all go to prison at the same time for the same bungled joint offence. No, they’ve all been doing their own thing & by some lucky quirk of fate have all ended up inside at the same time.
The 2 eldest, Graham & Alan are on remand to Bedford Jail for burglary. Darren is doing 4 1/2 years for burglary. His parents say he is in prison in Essex but they can’t remember which one.
Ian & Jason are in Woodhill, doing 4 1/2 years for burglary & youngest son Christopher is in Norwich Prison doing 3 years for theft and burglary.
Mrs & Mrs Smith have said that they’ve not done anything wrong in the way they brought up their family & blame it all on their son’s involvement in drugs. These days there is no need for anyone to accept any blame for anything as placing the blame ant anyone else’s door is now current standard practice in the UK.
I suspect they may not have quite grasped the concept of the role of a parent. They may not have done anything wrong but I don’t think there’s much evidence they did anything right.
Tony F says:
“Mrs & Mrs Smith have said that they’ve not done anything wrong in the way they brought up their family & blame it all on their son’s involvement in drugs. These days there is no need for anyone to accept any blame for anything as placing the blame at anyone else’s door is now current standard practice in the UK.”
Who else is there to blame? I know that our fearless ‘leaders’ have cheerfully taken responsibility away from everyone. For heavens sake don’t make a decision for yourself ‘cos sure as eggs are eggs, you’ll be breaking some Nulabour law.
November 9th, 2008 at 11:22 am
PC Plastic Fuzz says:
You just have to laugh, or you’ll cry.
November 9th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
MarkUK says:
It almost makes you want to support eugenics!
There’s a proposal in the Sunday Times that “poor mothers” (i.e. unsuitable, not impoverished) should be forced to use contraception after one or two kids, until they’d proved themselves capable in bringing up the next generation.
What about “poor fathers”? How about two blue bricks…?
November 9th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Plodnomore says:
Tony F has it partly correct. How many times have senior Government Ministers and staff lost vital information, either leaving it on a train or cab or leaving a laptop on display in a car and not had anything happen to them? I know a middle manager in the Civil Service was prosecuted recently but nothing happens to the political masters. Examples come from the top. Blair has shown how you can lie and get away with it as long as “you did it in good faith.” Prescott has shown how you can claim real socialist principles whilst having 5 different places to lay his head (one of them a flat rented from th Seamnas Union at a peppercorn rent which he then sub-let to his son! Mandleseon has shown how you can cheat and lie yet end up as a Lord. Mind you, the other lot aren’t any better (Archer is a good example). It is therefore no wonder why “It’s not my fault” meanders down the foodchain. I think it was Roosevelt who had a plaque on his desk saying “The buck stops here.” A few more of these in Government and we may see a difference, though not in my lifetime.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Fee says:
If they were my kids I’d be too ashamed to show my face in public. When I was a kid it was a toss-up whether I was more afraid of the police or my parents.
November 10th, 2008 at 3:58 pm