October 31st, 2008

Understanding Economics

Posted in Not the Job by 200

After my recent post on economics, I have found something to help me understand both politics & economics at the same time…. (it’s not my own work)

SOCIALISM – You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM – You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM - You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM - You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM - You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots 1 , milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM – You have 2 cows. You sell 1 and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM - You have 2 giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons .

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION – You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM – You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for  5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on 1 more. You sell 1 cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9 cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION – You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want 3 cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION – You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION – You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION – You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION – You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION – You have 5000 cows. None of them belongs to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION – You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment , and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION – You have 2 cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION – You have 2 cows. Both are mad.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION – You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION – You have 2 cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

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2 comments

  1. Vote! « the Neighborhood Between My Ears says:

    [...] 200 Weeks » Understanding Economics [...]

    November 1st, 2008 at 06:17

  2. Tony F says:

    :-D !!

    November 1st, 2008 at 17:34

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