March 14th, 2006

The Baby’s Still Asleep

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

It’s bloody typical. You wait ages for a muppet leaving their baby unattended in a car and then two turn up in the same week.

This one was even more of a muppet than the last. He parks outside the local supermarket and ‘pops’ in for a quick something. Isn’t it always amazing that the only people who get caught out have left their vehicles for ‘one minute’. You’d have thought that there being 1,440 minutes in a day, the chances of driving along in your police car during the precise minute they’re breaking the law would be pretty damn small. But we seem to manage it with grim regularity.

Anyway, during this magical ‘minute’ you’ve got time to check that the baby is OK, check all the doors to see if they are actually locked, have a look up and down the road, get back in the police car and sort a clouple of items of paperwork, do a full PNC check on the car and get the result back, have a sandwich or two (‘cos you won’t be getting a grub break – again) and go on a short weekend break to Centreparks.

The driver comes back, you explain a little bit of commonsense which is like talking to the shovel in your boot and do a check on him too.

Now any sensible driver at this point would retrieve the baby from the car and pretend to go off for a little shopping elsewhere until you leave, but not Muppet.

He gets back into his car and drives off, whereupon you follow him, pull him over up the road and reveal that whilst you were waiting the ‘minute’ for him to return, you’ve discovered his vehicle is uninsured, has no MOT and he only has a provisional licence. To top his day off you advise him you’re siezing the vehicle and point him in the direction of the footpath.

What a muppet.

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One comment

  1. Lennie Briscoe says:

    Would be funny if he didn’t have a pram with him either… carry baby all the way home..:lol:

    March 16th, 2006 at 09:56

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