June 1st, 2012

This is not a true story

Posted in Other Stuff by 200

A Glaswegian is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher….

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, ‘Are you ready to find Jesus?’

The drunk shouts, ‘Aye, I am.’ So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, ‘Brother have you found Jesus?’

The drunk replies, ‘No, Ah havnae found Jesus.’

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, ‘Brother, have you found Jesus?’

The drunk again answers, ‘No, Ah havnae found Jesus.’

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again — but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, ‘For the love of God have you found Jesus?’

The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says to the preacher, ’Are ye sure this is where he fell in?

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  1. Alpha Tango says:

    The old one’s are the best:)
    Showing my age

    June 2nd, 2012 at 16:21

  2. bill says:

    200′s pullin’ uir legs, it IS a true story. Ah saw it wi’ mah ain een.

    June 2nd, 2012 at 23:07

  3. Penseivat says:

    A friend of mine told me of the time, as a PC, he was told to drive his Supt and Ch Insp to HQ for a conference and on the way, to pass the time, the two senior officers began discussing various topics end ended up talking about sexual relations in marriage. The Supt said he believed the sex act was 73% pleasure and was 27% work. The Ch Insp disagreed and said it was 82% pleasure and only 18% work. They could not agree and so asked my friend what he thought. Without any hesitation, my friend said that the sex had to be 100% pleasure. He was asked why he was so definite about this and replied, “Well, sir, if there was any work involved, you’d have me doing it!” My friend assures me it’s a true story and he wouldn’t lie, would he?

    June 4th, 2012 at 10:27

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