May 19th, 2008

It must be jelly ‘cos jam don’t wobble like that

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

We had a guy on the patch who liked touching women in the street & running away. We decided to run a special operation to catch him.

We grabbed one of the two female officers on the shift & got her to agree to bring in some civvy clothes so she could be our decoy. There were 3 or 4 of us & we brought in civvies too & all made our way to the railway station, which seemed to be the locus for most of the offences.

It was like something off an old Ealing Comedy. We got the ‘decoy’ to walk up & down a set stretch of the road while the rest of us were hiding in bus stops & bushes or sitting on park benches with eye holes cut out of our Daily Telegraphs.

Normally, it’s pissing down with rain, you do it for 4 days solid & nothing happens, except you’ve made a few days in overtime. Someone must have been smiling on us because it was a really nice spring day. Within an hour or two some bloke walked up to our honey-trap & started talking to her as they walked side by side. I think he was just passing the time of day, commenting on the weather, that sort of thing. The rest of us were all talking into our wrists, CIA style, planning which routes we’d take if he struck.

Within a minute our potential offender turned to the undercover female officer, grabbed two handfuls of ample bosom & squeezing tight said, "You’ve got big tits love", before running off straight into the waiting arms of two hairy-arsed coppers.

The things some officers will do for a detection.

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