March 13th, 2012

PC Dockgreen is an Arse

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

PC Dockgreen works shifts out of one of the towns I cover frequently.

I have never met the bloke, so I don’t know what his beef is, but the man is a total arse. There are one or two about. It’s not just me who has come to this conclusion, everyone I know who controls that area either knows the bloke’s an arse or, withing 30 seconds of any dealings over the radio with him, asks whether he is an arse all the time. We usually confirm that he is.

The first thing that winds controllers up is that he doesn’t so much ask for something, as bark it. I have no idea whether he has no social skills or whether the thinks that everyone else in the job owes him a living. Then he has this habit of speaking quite slowly and deliberately in a very sarcastic tone, for instance, when you don’t hear him properly and ask him to repeat something (which isn’t all that unusual with the fantastically modern and super high tech Airwave radio system).

He never tells you what he is doing or where he is and seems to be one of the these officers that people run off from. They’ve probably not done anything wrong, they just know of his reputation and don’t want to spend 40 minutes at the side of the road being talked down to. It’s amazing how many of his traffic stops start off with a high pitched, panic-stricken voice that a vehicle is ‘failing to stop’ only for it to pull over 20 seconds later, after PC Dockgreen has barked for every officer in the country to make for the area and back him up.

The relationship between a controller and an officer on the street should be based on mutual respect and assistance. It’s done on a quid-pro-quo basis. I want my officers do stuff for me, usually to deal with a job I am controlling, my officers want stuff from me, usually information and assistance to resolve their issues and make their dealing of the job as pain-free as possible. I generally find that politeness andĀ helpfulnessĀ gets me a long way, it certainly makes the shift go a bit smoother, and I’m sure my officers appreciate it when I’m on the radio rather than one or two of my colleagues (who, to be fair, can be just as bad as PC Dockgreen).

So having explained to PC Dockgreen on more than one occasion over the last couple of years, that if he needs to wind his neck in and toe a bit more of the party line. I have suddenly discovered that the people he wants me to phone for jobs he’s dealing with, never pick up the phone. The messages he wants sent over the computer system strangely seem to disappear across the force network to who knows where, and the time it takes me to get him some help or find a free officer to pop down and bail him out of a mess he created himself, seems to stretch, often beyond the time that I go off duty. The last time I had occasion to point out the error of his ways over the radio, I got 3 phone calls from his colleagues saying it was about time someone did that.

I don’t suppose it will make a blind bit of difference though. He’ll still be an arse next week.

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One comment

  1. shijuro says:

    There is one on every shift…

    I knew a chap like that…he drove everyone barmy with his attitude and casual approach to safety…

    …right up to the moment he was run over by a villain he was trying to arrest on his own- oh, hero hadnt TOLD anyone he was doing the stop, no… so when he croaked ‘assistance! Ive been run over…’ before slipping into unconsciousness-none of us knew where he was…

    If it wasnt for the famous ‘man walking his dog’ (the one that finds all of the dead bodies I suspect) we would not have found him…

    Arse…

    March 14th, 2012 at 10:00

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