It may seem sometimes that I whinge all the time about officers I’m controlling. I must say that these are generally the exceptions and most are reasonably hard working, decent officers.
To redress the balance I’d like to point out that I have worked with – and continue to work with – a few controllers who are nightmares too.
So here’s some of 200 Weeks top tips for a happy controlling life.
– being a police officer and dealing with muppets on the street is a difficult enough job without dealing with muppets in the control room.
– most officers do not start their day with the intention of making the controller’s life difficult, you should reciprocate.
– when the mind is occupied with digesting the details of the job you just gave them, driving like a looney and wondering what fate might meet them on arrival, it is easy to forget the address. So, when they ask for the third time what address theyre going to, just tell them. It takes twice as much effort and time to say “as already stated, 10 High Street”, or “for the third time, 10 High Street”, Ã‚Â as it does to say “10 High Street” and causes much less stress, to both parties.
– the job of a controller is to make police officer’s work easier, not the other way around.
– is it more important to stick slavishly to protocol and decline to do something which might take you 30 seconds rather than refuse and take a unit off the road for twenty?
– officers don’t generally call up to make your life a misery. Before you answer them try not to say “oh what the fuck does he want now?” because after the twentieth time it gets a bit wearing on the other controllers who have to put up with it all day.
– if someone asks a stupid question, it’s probably best just to answer it than to speak in a manner which makes you sound superior and cleverer than they are.
– we all moan and whinge from time to time but doing it non-stop from the start of the shift until the end just pisses your colleagues off.
– if you say to an officer you’ll do something, then try to do it rather than just say ‘oh bollocks, I’m not doing that’ and leave the officer with the impression it’s being done.
– if you make a mistake or forget something, just admit it and say sorry, bullshit rarely succeeds.
– try to get into work at least 5 minutes before the hour because the people you’re reliving did a minimum of that and probably double that, and the people whoÃ‚Â relieveÃ‚Â you will do it also, if that means getting in and taking over before making your cup of tea then bloody-well wait for the tea!
So there we have it, some top tips to some of my control room colleagues. Most of us might do one of the above from time to time but some controllers have made an art of doing them all, at the same time, and it’s a bloody nightmare working with them.
If any readers would like to add a few more (and get your own back) feel free.