April 8th, 2008

40 Winks

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

I’ve never fallen asleep on nights in the control room, honestly, I haven’t.

Which is more than can be said for some. It’s not too bad when you’re doubl-crewed because your partner can pick up any jobs or radio traffic that comes in.

It’s not because of any moral duty that I don’t knock out a few ZZZs. It’s more to do with the fact that I have to be in motion in order to enter the land of nod at work.

I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat while sitting in the passenger seat of a fully marked patrol car, but if the car parks up, that’s me instantly awake.

One nick I was at had a guy who drove the area car. On a night shift he’d often drive out of the rear yard & head straight for some woods on the edge of town whereupon he’d park up, switch off the lights & recline the seat. There was me for the next hour studying the local wildlife, counting the stars & trying my best not to look like a dogger.

You can tell the ones who kip on nights. For the inexperienced amongst you, here are some tell-tale signs to look for when the shift comes back at 6 in the morning to hand the keys over.

  • they don’t actually come back at 6, or 6.15, or 6.30. If they’re not back by 6.45 start checking the likely spots, secluded parks, multi-storeys without CCTV, police station garages.
  • There is dried dribble down their chin.
  • There is an imprint on their forehead of the word FORD spelled backwards.
  • The switchboard is taking reports of a policeman who appears to be sitting on a petrol station forecourt whilst under the influence of death. 

The last one happened to a mate of mine. When he fell asleep it was 5.30 in the morning & the petrol station was closed. When he rose from his slumber it had been open twenty minutes & people were filling their cars with petrol all around him.

Our shift all went round someone’s house after one late shift around Christmas. I fell asleep on the sofa. I still have the photograph of me with a world record for the most Christmas decorations someone can balance on a sleeping person’s face in one go.

I don’t sleep in the presence of colleagues now.

 

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8 comments

  1. Vicki says:

    I sleep on nights instead of taking a grub break. I always tell control room where I am (thought they know anyway now as we have AVLS on our cars). Sometimes they like to shame me by calling on the radio instead of my phone so i sound all sleepy over the county wide channel. No-one minds though, I think we all agree that it is better to have a 40 minutes nap than crash!

    April 8th, 2008 at 11:05 am

  2. anonymous says:

    Their was I thinking billy burglar can go round stealing with inpunity because your all stuck in the nick doing paperwork. I need to get out more, I really do!

    April 8th, 2008 at 1:25 pm

  3. Internet Advertising says:

    I agree with Vicki. A nice nap instead of lunch is fine.

    April 8th, 2008 at 2:56 pm

  4. 200 says:

    anonymous,
    please don’t waste your time putting ridiculous URLs into the comment screen. It takes up more of your valuable time & I delete them.
    Just leave that field blank, eh?

    (Oh, and the two occasions I mentioned in the blog happened 25 years ago when I was at my first & second posting - I like to post about my whole career, not just the last shift, but I expect you are a paragon of virtue in your job, sorry we fail to maintain your high standards)

    April 8th, 2008 at 2:57 pm

  5. 200 says:

    Internet Advertising,

    thanks for the comment but I don’t let commentors use this site to increase their Google page ranking - URL deleted.

    April 8th, 2008 at 3:03 pm

  6. Officer Dibble says:

    Good advice..never fall asleep in the presence of colleagues either sober or drunk.It brings out the devil in them.

    April 8th, 2008 at 10:28 pm

  7. anonymous says:

    200. sorry I honestly dont know how that got there, obviously I pasted in by mistake but it was not intenional. Was only joking with my comment, though having read it it does across as like I am snow white. Off for a kip now myself, bored rigid ;-) Great blog as well!

    April 9th, 2008 at 1:10 pm

  8. 200 says:

    anonymous, thanks for that. I don’t mind people linking to their personal websites, but not advertising or non existent links.

    I did remove a comment last week which mentioned the police getting a 6% payrise & linking to a non existent BBC News page…thought it was a piss-take. After I removed it I suddenly realised it was April 1st the the person was probably just having a laugh - wasn’t you was it, if so, sorry I removed it, it was quite funny in the light of an April Fool’s.

    April 9th, 2008 at 2:52 pm

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