February 17th, 2011

99% couldn’t actually give a ****

Posted in The Job - General by 200

We have people employed to ring our ‘clients’ up & ask them what their experience of their police service was like. I’m guessing that every other force has something similar because there are apparently tables about ‘public satisfaction’ & the chiefs fight over each other to get to the top of the table.

I read some stats that we had really good satisfaction levels. I cannot believe they are so high, not judging with a lot of the people I deal with.

Part of the satisfaction stats involve asking people at the end of the call if they’ll take a survey. I can’t believe that most of the people who are completely disillusioned – rightly or wrongly – with the service they have received – are either offered the chance to tell us what they really think, or if they are offered the chance, actually bother to take it; they’re more likely to just slam the phone down & tell everyone else how fucking useless the police are. Just check out the comments section of the Daily Mail & Sun whenever there is a story about how hopeless we are.

I wonder how many of these bean counters will be losing their jobs in the cutbacks this year.

You can skip to the end and leave a comment. Pinging is currently not allowed. RSS 2.0


  1. anon Rob says:

    As a member of the public I think you might have missed the mark a little on that one.

    I just don’t like doing phone surveys – at all.
    If I’ve just had to deal with the police to sort out anything from a burgled car, burgled house through to some physical assault or worse then I’m not sure I’d really want to do a survey about how the police dealt with it.

    It’s the same when my phone stops working and it takes them 2 weeks to get it working – I just want it fixed then I can get on with my day. I’ve no interest in spending any further time re-hashing the last 2 weeks.

    I don’t mind spending 30 seconds chatting to someone about the experience, but I really don’t want to spend twenty minutes answering leading questions and saying how much I agree or disagree, on a scale of 1-10, with nonsensical comments.

    February 18th, 2011 at 09:09

  2. Tony F says:

    Sorry, but if the police have enough time to take a survey off every one they phone, then surely there is something wrong wit the time management?

    February 18th, 2011 at 12:37

  3. Fee says:

    Law abiding citizen that I am, I have no dealings with L & B police on a daily basis. The odd time I have, there is something wrong happening (sudden death in the family/drunken teenagers blighting the neighbourhood/spate of thefts from cars for example). If asked the simple question, “Was I satisfied with the service given?”, I’d have said yes. Absolutely. The officers on every occasion (few as they are) have been exactly as they should be. Would I have taken part in a survey? No. Without a doubt. Why? I just don’t like them. My humble opinion is that they’re used to either pat senior staff on the back, or kick junior staff on the arse. Depending on the answers they get.

    February 18th, 2011 at 13:59

  4. Civ_In_The_City says:

    I agree with Fee. If police officers are polite, helpful, professional, sensitive (or whatever the circumstances require) this is most likely to be down to their own personal and professional standards and being human. You can`t train someone to come across as sincere and interested. They either are, or they are not.

    These surveys are partly just to satisfy someones tick in the box, partly to get some senior officer a promotion, and partly an excercise in appearing to listen to our ‘communities’ (a.k.a. The General Public).

    It`s corporate nonsense. I hang up on cold callers of any sort.

    February 18th, 2011 at 18:45

  5. Plodnomore says:

    The only thing you can confirm from a completed survey is that the person has completed it. There is no confirmation that the answers given are what the surveryed person really thinks as they may be simply saying what they believe the surveyor(?) wants to hear. If you are completing a survey on the background of people who complete surveys, then I am a Caribbean Chinese Christo Taoist one armed hang glider, with 17 children, no wives, living in a 16 bedroomed mansion in Westminster and earning £47.16 a week.

    February 18th, 2011 at 20:21

  6. Mad Mick says:

    Plodnomore, with a background like that I am surprised your old force didn’t take you on as the Diversity Champion.

    February 18th, 2011 at 21:18

  7. boy on a bike says:

    I care more about results that my treatment. I don’t care if I am looked after by two polite, well mannered coppers – if the crook gets off, I’m not happy.

    If I get two grumpy old farts who are lacking in a “customer service ethic”, but manage to catch the crook and get them put away, then I’m happy. My happiness score basically parallels your conviction rate.

    February 19th, 2011 at 10:18

  8. Stonehead says:

    Our local force phoned me for a customer satisfaction survey and the lady who called happily guided my answers to ensure I gave the “correct” response. I suspect that’s how your force also gets its high levels of customer satisfaction.

    February 22nd, 2011 at 18:10

  9. Police Staff says:

    As a police staff member I agree in with the cynicism shown towards citizen focus bureaux…I mean it’s just a smooze right? Theresa May gave the Policing Pledge the heave ho yonks ago yet some forces including mine keep the CFB outfits running.

    I can only guess that the CFB outfits are kept going to keep staff sergeants and the like in positions of supervision in desk jockey jobs. I’m going to stick my neck out and say that a great many of these smug desk jockey sergeants have the cushy’ist jobs going. Many are doing 8-4′s on full pay (anything up to £40,000+ per year) where a civvy doing the same role would be lucky to get 20k. I’ll also go as far to say that the civvies the staff sergeants ‘supervise’ are 1) both more capable and keener 2) higher qualified 3) in far less ‘protected’ roles.

    A much greater issue from what I see on a day to day basis there are large numbers of lazy officers stringing it out doing the barest minimum. Not least, some of the senior officers appear not to be able of running a sales checkout at tesco never mind being capable at something…The Peter Principle anyone?

    Lastly, officers need to be told how to record crime ethically. I am certain that vast swathes of the general public are unaware that senior officers are paid bonuses for reducing numbers of recorded crime. The fact the bonuses are paid means that senior officers put serious levels of pressure on their underlings not to record crimes when they should be. Hmmm smell the bullsh*t with crime figures…

    I wonder how many lazy officers, civvy staff supervising £40k+ sergeants on 8-4′s, as well as the ’40 pieces of silver not recording crime ethically’ senior officers will be losing their jobs in the cutbacks this year? Sod all is the answer I would think.

    March 5th, 2011 at 01:11

Leave a comment