December 28th, 2007

Evolution

Posted in The Job - General by 200

What is it about the youth of today and coats?

While I’m up to my arse in the latest clothing technology designed to keep me warmer than anything else ever designed by man, anyone under the age of about 25 is wandering round the town centres in climates I normally see on Christmas films in just a short sleeved shirt or a minscule dress.

Call me old fashioned but when I go out of the warmth of my house or place of work, I want to be reasonably comfortable and I want to know that my body will function as near to normal as possible. Has mankind evolved so much in the last twenty years that we are now able to go out half naked when the ice is on the ground?

"Here, fancy giving that lad over there a bloody good kicking?", "Er, sorry, but I’m not capable, my knees are knocking together faster than a Patrick Moore xylophone recital and it’s nothing to do with being scared." Or "what about shouting some abuse at that copper?" "No, my lips are numb and nothing resembling speech will form from them."

Strange. But the biting cold doesn’t appear to stop them getting involved in the usual Saturday night revelries of getting pissed, removing all the town’s hanging baskets, riding around in shopping trollies and kicking people lying on the path in the head.

I reckon we missed a trick when Captain Scott went to the South Pole. What a waste. We could have shot Amundsen right up the arse if we’d just have kept Scott at home and sent a bunch of chavs. None of this "I’m going outside, I may be some time," only for them all to perish. We could have sent some drunken louts who’d have made it right across the Antarctic in just a white short sleeved shirt and a few Mars Bars.

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3 comments

  1. Craig says:

    You’re not completely on the mark sir. As a 22 year old I speak from direct experience, as well as on behalf of quite a few of my friends, thermal comfort is a key area in deciding what to wear when going out. If it means adding on an extra layer of clothing which will result in an extra 50p in cloakroom charges, we’re more than prepared to forgoe the smallchange.

    Don’t forget, many of us are students; we can’t afford the gas heating bills to raise the temperature once we’re back inside the flat!

    December 29th, 2007 at 03:28

  2. TotallyUn-Pc says:

    Have you seen the new Robbing Coats… with the hood that zips over the face with two eye holes to see out of?

    If not, you heard it here first, they are on their way. The vermin around our way have been buying/stealing half a dozen at a time from markets, so they can swap with impunity!

    December 29th, 2007 at 12:19

  3. annette says:

    I remember going out in snow and ice in my teens in mini skirt and short sleeved blouse and a light jacket…… it’s called fashion!!!
    All I think now when I see a young lady dressed ina short skirt is:
    “they must be cold!”
    Now, it’s three layers and a big baggy thick jumper.
    We all did it in our younger days.

    December 30th, 2007 at 11:50

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