September 30th, 2010

Shiny Arses

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

I bumped into an old colleague this week. He’s managed to wangle his way into an office job. I’m not sure what his new remit will be but it involes looking at figures & charts & then issuing dictats about the way people do their job.

It’s another in a long line of jobs he’d had for the last 26 years or so, none of which have involved doing police work out on the street. It always amazes me the people who spend the first part of their lives wanting to get into a police uniform & almost their entire career wanting to stay out of it. My old colleague passed his probation & within a year spent a couple of years as the town centre officer. This was then regarded as a cushy little number, you worked 9 to 5, squared up the odd shoplifter & networked all the shops & businesses so you could discount on just about anything your family needed.

He then went into the then new crime bureau, telling people how to fill in crime reports & filing them. A few years as a SOCO followed until the then new detective chief superintendent found it was cheaper to employ civilian SOCOs who did the same work as police SOCOs but for less money & rights. Where to go next? Resource management seemed to fit the bill, then some job up at HQ.

Inspector Gadget talks about officers like this, those who spend so much time sitting on their arse at a desk  you could shave in the reflection of their uniform trousers.

As someone who spent just about 27 years in uniform on shifts on the front line, it makes me wonder how so many people get away with it. I recall when they wanted to get rid of a few PCs at one particular nick they decided to introduce a policy of ‘tenure’. This said that if you’d been one one shift for 5 years or longer you had to move. It was touted as being applicable to all departments but was only used at one station, no other department was affected & once they had moved the officers in question was quickly binned as a policy.

Office jobs are like being in the masons, they’re only open to a select few & once you have one, you have one for life. If anyone tells you there is no longer favouritism in the police force, don’t believe them.

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  1. Paul says:

    How many people get away with it ? Far more than you think, I would imagine.

    I would get rid of the lot of them. These jobs are inevitably completely unnecessary – they are entirely occupied in satisfying the demands of other bureaucrats elsewhere. None of it is useful to the small proportion that actually try to fight crime, and it’s probably a hindrance in most cases.

    The Police Pension is a big gift to retired officers. I don’t mind this for those who’ve spent thirty years hard graft on the front line (such as yourself and IG) but I do object to paying it to people who push paper around all day and consider themselves “Police” simply because they are employed by the Police.

    October 1st, 2010 at 08:56

  2. DrummerBoy says:

    The tenure idea is good, but only if universally accepted, perhaps a more military rotational system needs to be used, and every office has to spend 50% of their time on front line duties, before being eligable for promotion.
    This can drop to 25% for senior officers, but I would suggest no lower.
    It’ll never happen as there are too many vested interests.

    October 1st, 2010 at 09:24

  3. Tony F says:

    Perhaps a leaf could be taken from the RAF’s books. Aircrew offices have to do tours desk flying between the fun bit of flying aeroplanes. Perhaps all desk police should be rotated out to the streets every 2 to 3 years to maintain their currency as police officers. Failure to do so would stop them being promoted or an increase in pay?

    October 1st, 2010 at 17:39

  4. Gary says:

    A better idea would be to enable front line officers, those that work on shift to have the current pension provision and those that opt for non uniform non frontline duty to have say a 50% provision. So they would have to do 12 months to gain 6 months worth of pension whilst making the same contributions.

    October 3rd, 2010 at 23:30

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