November 19th, 2007

Anyone seen the Station Bike?

Posted in Not the Job by 200

You see & hear some really strange things & get to witness all kinds of strange behaviour thoughout your career as a police officer.

One such incident came to my attention after it was featured on the new Police999.com website. I can just imagine the scene in the interview room, how anyone present managed to keep a straight face I’ll never know, perhaps they didn’t.

Anyway, Robert Stewart, a 51-year-old batchelor from Scotland is pretty embarrassed I would imagine. He’ll be the one walking round Ayr town centre with a bag over his head, or hiding behind a broadsheet newspaper with the eye holes cut out. He’s just been convicted for an offence of "sexually aggravated breach of the peace". Sexually aggravated breach of the peace?? I know Scotland has some funny laws but this has to be one of them.

It comes to something if you can’t shag your own bicycle in your own room without getting nicked for a sexually aggravated breach of the peace. Poor old Robert was staying in a hostel in Ayr when the cleaners arrived. He failed to answer the door as he was engaged in other, rather important matters, so the cleaners let themselves in, only to be confronted with the sight of this chap, naked from the waste down with his little chap doing the unmentionables to a…bicycle!

The cleaners called the polis and the rest is history.

 

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