December 17th, 2009

Please, Miss

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

I was shocked to the core when I walked into the little boys’ room at work this week; they had removed the poster which tells me how to wash my hands. What the hell am I going to do now that stroke-by-stroke instructions are gone, how can I refer to the little diagrams telling me how much soap to put on, where, & which actions my hands must be doing in order to maximise my personal safety & ensure the job doesn’t have to pay me sick leave because I have picked up one of the millions of strains of germs which float around the control room?

Has the chief constable gone totally mad? Next they’ll be removing the sign which tells me the steps are slippery when wet or the one which advises waiting until the door is open before I walk through it.

I never realised the true function of  ‘Police – Do Not Cross’ tape was to stop me walking across a patch of muddy grass  at police HQ or keeping me from incurring a fatal injury from the edge of a desk where the metal edging has fallen off (because they bought the cheapest).

If you don’t see a blog entry tomorrow, it’s probably because nobody told me not to do something I’ve not been doing for nearly 50 years quite successfully.

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  1. Fee says:

    Oh dear, that sounds a bit dangerous!

    Up here in snowy Scotland, our phones at work have just sprouted little stickers with a cartoon germ and the words “sanitize regularly”. Yes, with a “z” instead of an “s”. We’ve all attacked them with the Tipp-ex and changed the spelling. We may not have sterile phones, but by god we know how to spell. My suggestion that we dip them in Dettol didn’t go down well with management, though. Somewhere in my personnel file the words “sarcastic cow” are probably written in big letters.

    December 18th, 2009 at 14:07

  2. Civ_In_The_City says:

    Is it the 20 step NHS hand-washing poster that ends with the words “hand washing should take no more than 15-20 seconds”?

    Just reading through the steps takes 1 minute. Actually doing them takes longer. Yet the powers that be believe it only take 15 seconds.

    And that is why the NHS is failing, completely disconnected from reality.

    December 18th, 2009 at 15:02

  3. Weary says:

    Helpfully, we now have a small poster attached to the back of some toilet doors demonstrating how to have a safe poo (a real diagram provided by a genito-urinary practioner somewhere). One hopes that a copper has found this and posted it for fun but increasingly the walls between reality and some kind of Pythonesque alternate reality are breaking down in Police World.

    December 18th, 2009 at 18:17

  4. Plod Against the Machine says:

    We had those little posters put up in January last year. However there was no soap in the dispenser in the toilets for us to test the theory. When we requestd some from the Civvy Hygene manager (head bog lady) in admin we were told there was no money left in the annual budget for soap and we’d have to wait for the next financial year!!. Another fine example of Police lunacy. All theory no practice.

    December 18th, 2009 at 20:05

  5. Tony F says:

    In City Hall, there is a notice above each of the hot taps stating “warning, extremely hot water”. Two things to note, because of a low shelf above the sinks,anyone over the age of 8 can not see the notices, and secondly the water there has never ever been more than luke warm..

    December 18th, 2009 at 20:54

  6. Blueknight says:

    Some wag found an ‘Examination in progress’ sign and glued that to the toilet door. It was there for absolutely ages

    December 18th, 2009 at 21:20

  7. quantum torpedo says:

    well… its the odd world we live in…

    the average huwmon has about 1/2 a kilo of micro-organisms in and on their body- that have nothing to do with human evolution…

    but we have to wash like a good one?

    and what about when you touch the door handle?

    lol… we are sooooo odd…

    December 18th, 2009 at 21:35

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