In news which came as a shock to no-one, the police proved beyond all doubt that everything everyone said about them being a bunch of racist thugs is all true.
In the leafy lanes of Essex this week a motorist was stopped driving his Ferrari in an area where lots of houses had been burgled & high-power, high-value cars had been stolen.
Inspector Knacker-of-the-Yard, said, “In an attempt to solve crimes where high-powered, high-valued cars are being stolen by criminals who break into high-value homes & nick the car keys, we have been patrolling the area of the burglaries trying to catch these evil crooks stealing these high-powered, high-value cars. Unfortunately, a black bloke was driving a Ferrari and as most black blokes in Ferraris are drug-dealing gangster-thieves, we naturally stopped said car.”
He added, “We will, of course, be paying an undisclosed sum of cash to the gentleman in question as we realised after we had stopped him that he was not a drug-dealing gangster-thief, just a simple multi-millionaire who thinks he should be allowed to break the speed limit & not be banned because he is famous. Clearly, an error was made & we are sorry that we tried to solve some crime & catch some car thieves when really what we should have been doing was attending Black History seminars.”
The gentleman in question’s solicitor,Ã‚Â Nick Freeman said: “At worst, it smacks of something far more sinister, which can only add weight to growing concerns that they are being vindictive and my client is being harassed. Mr Defoe was stopped for no reason after leaving his mother’s home. Coming as it does, just three days after announcing he is to claim damages from the same force, it leaves the police with some serious questions to answer.”
An Essex Police spokesman said: “Police in the Epping Forest area have been running Operation Phobia, which is aimed at tackling domestic burglary in affluent areas, and the theft of high value cars. As part of that operation officers stopped a black Ferrari in Manor Road, Chigwell, at 2314 BST on Sunday. They satisfied themselves that all was in order with the car and driver, and it continued on its way.”
So, that’s the serious question dealt with, next?
The driver was Tottenham footballer, Jermaine Defoe who drives very fast & gets caught. He had a driving ban suspended while his solicitor tries to get him off with it but was arrested on suspicion of disqualified driving before the ban was put in place. He said he had decided to sue Essex Police three days before the stop-check mentioned above.
What I would give for Defoe to have his mansion broken into & his Ferrari to make off past the entire traffic department who later announce that they didn’t want to stop it in case they were accused of racism.