The phone rings, I glance at the telephone & see it’s the local CCTV operator. I look across at the computer monitor which has the CCTV images on them. As I have several screens, I can’t look at them all so even if something is happening on CCTV, I’m often busy doing something else to notice it.
As I pick up the telephone I can see they have focused on man in his 30s, he is leaning up against a pole in one of these areas you often get in a town centre which is in the middle of the pavement but has been set aside for a few plants & bushes. I can’t quite see what he is doing because of a few strategically placed branches, but as the CCTV operator explains I realise he is trying to relieve himself.
He doesn’t quite lose the battle against alcohol & gravity but he’s close. It’s a scene repeated in every town centre on a Friday & Saturday night across the land, except it’s about 3pm in the afternoon. As the CCTV operator zooms the camera out I can see women with children in tow walking past the man. You can almost here the children “Mummy, what’s that man doing?”
He’s been there fo three or four minutes & he doesn’t look like he’s anywhere near completing his task.
I send one of the local neighbourhood officers. You can’t possibly hope to deal with everyone who does this on a Saturday night but it is Tuesday afternoon & the town is packed.
CCTV explains they saw him just about fall out of one of the local bars & stagger his way down to the nearest bush. Except the bush area is just 1 yard wide & conceals nothing. I guess he is too drunk for his befuddled mind to remember that pubs have toilets & he only left one 30 seconds ago.
I update the local officer with his description & current state. The drunk finishes & staggers out of the bush to continue his meandering way down the High Street. I tell the officer that he will be easily recognised as he’s the only one I can see with a massive patch of urine down his light coloured trousers.
He gets dealt with.
I can’t help thinking the punishment should be that when he’s sober,Ã‚Â he should be made to watch the CCTV footage in the presence of his family.