May 27th, 2009

Today I have been mostly…

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

…doing PNC checks.

To the unitiated, PNC checks are checks we run on the Police National Computer. These usually take two forms, a check on a person where we try to find out if a person is known to police or has a criminal record & may be wanted, or checks on vehicles where we try to find out who owns it & if it might be stolen. i.e. a good way to get your quotas up without actually having to detect anything or find a baddie.

In the last couple of years we have had added functionality to vehicle checks. Now if we run your number plate, we can find out if it’s taxed, MOT’d & insured.

This has meant that the call for PNC checks has soared. Not only do officers do checks on vehicle sthey want to stop for whatever reason, they can also do them on any vehicle just to see if there might be a good reason to stop them in he first place, like a big fishing trip but without having to wamr up the maggots in your mouth.

The majority of vehicles officers do PNC checks never get stopped, because they come back as not stolen, fully insured, Taxed & MOT’d, so unless you’ve done something wrong, suspicious or just stupid, there’s not a great deal of point stopping you.

This is good for the officer because it doesn’t waste their time, it’s good for the driver because it doesn’t waste their time, but it’s bad for the congtrollers because it just means there is much more time to do lots more speculative PNC checks.

Not that I mind doing PNC checks. I get paid quite a lot to sit on my arse doing PNC checks (among other stuff), so I really don’t mind what I do for my cash as long as I feel it’s of some use to someone & not just done in order to assist a bean-counter somewhere (as is so much of our work).

If you are an officer who does PNC checks, I’ll let you into a secret or two & it will make our transaction so much simpler.

When you give the information for the check, you need to bear in mind that Iwhilst technology has advanced, we do not yet have a process of transferring information from your mouth to my computer via mind-meld & I still have to type it into the computer. I have to do this in a specific order & if you give the info in the wrong order I have to skip over the data entry field & fill in the other stuff and then go back to it, this takes extra time & isn’t good for my autistic tendencies as it makes my brain go all funny.

I can only type slower than my brain can process the info & much slower than you can say it. If you rattle off the very short list of info you need to provide, I will still be wondering what road name you gave by the time you’ve given the index number. If you give it in the correct order & with nano-seconds of rest between each part I might stand a fighting chance of filling in the bloody entry screen correctly first time.

If I say ‘You’re radio broke, can you give me the location/index/warrant number again” this means one of two things. Either your radio broke & I couldn’t pick up the information, or more likely, you spoke too fast or gave the info in the wrong order & the information has fallen out of one side of my brain in order to make room for the next bit you’ve given before I’ve had a chance to commit it to the computer. It just panders to my ego & sense of well-being to make out that it was an act of God that I didn’t get all the info rather than saying it went in one ear & out the other or ‘slow the fuck down’, thus absolving us both of blame. It also gives me time to turn to my partner to ask “what did he say?”

If you help me with these checks, we can get them done without the need for repetition which means you can do even more!

Happy days.

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