April 22nd, 2009

Communication, that’s what you need

Posted in The Job - General by 200

We in the British police have  a lot to thank modern communication systems for; we have the fabulous ‘Airwave’ which solved all our poor radio communications problems at a stroke (yeah, right) and if it wasn’t for Facebook & mobile phone texting facilities we’d only have half the amount of work we do now.

It’s so much easier now to threaten & abuse people than it used to be. You can do it from the comfort of your own home, the pub or the dole queue, all without having to go anywhere near your victim. You don’t even have to bump into them in the town centre or go to the expense of a piece of paper & a stamp.

Just fire up the PC (it’s always a PC, Mac users don’t waste their time threatenign people on Facebook, nor I suspect, do Linux users) & you can be slagging off someone to your heart’s content within minutes & have your threat delivered within seconds. If only Pizza Hut could tap into that technology we’d really be onto something.

Most of these jobs invariably involve 15 year old girls, either as the victim or the offender (usually both), or unemployed people who have nothing better to do than spending their unemployment benefit on broadband access; those 500 free text messages with every top-up don’t send themselves. The messages are usually sent to other unemployed people who demand they want something “done abaaat it, naah!”

If you’re on your third day of waiting for the police to take a report of a proper crime, it’s probably because we’re dealing with utter shite like Facebook threats.

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  1. constableconfused.com says:


    this post echoes my sentiments to a T.

    My first move come the glorious day would be to make 999 a premium number. If what you called us about is a genuine emergency then full refund applies. If it’s about facebook threats and you have dialled 999 sorry your call will cost loads, especially from a mobile.

    Secondly asking people for NI number at start of call could decide if you are genuine or just another lowlife who can’t look after themselves.

    Just ideas, regards.

    April 23rd, 2009 at 06:38

  2. anon says:

    I work in a dept dealing with enquiries and reports from the public. They should all be non-urgent having been filtered before they get to me.
    I can see whether or not the initial call was via the 999 system. If it was and is clearly non urgent (3 day old theft for example) then that call goes to the end of my queue.

    In fairness there is many times when I speak to people who should have phoned 999 and didn’t. Perhaps an ejoocashun campaign is needed to remind people what’s appropriate for a 999 call and what isn’t.

    April 23rd, 2009 at 13:50

  3. the_leander says:

    Well, not quite pizza hut. But Dominos do offer an online service ;)

    As for having nothing better do to with my time and benefits then buy broadband access…

    Bus ticket for one week £18
    Broadband access for one month £15 (all inc)

    And with that access I average 10-15 job applications a day. Then again I’m a linux user so that probably makes me an odd one out on a number of levels.

    April 23rd, 2009 at 17:58

  4. 200 says:


    from what you post above, am I right in thinking you have said nothing to disprove my theory that all people who threaten others over Facebook are teenage girls or unemployed Windoze users?

    April 23rd, 2009 at 18:11

  5. the_leander says:

    I guess not, I think I posted simply because of (what I percieved) as a barb against the unemployed in general…

    Given that over 90% of all desktop computers run windoze That part of your theory certainly is probable.

    Unemployed… Dunno… I’m personally loath to think that I’m part of a statistic that creates that much bother.

    As for teenage girls, my mind simply cannot process the whims that that much insanity in one spot generates, so I’ll take your word for it ;)

    One final thought on the subject; Death threats via facebook… That’s got to be the lamest, most retarded form of trolling ever. Where the hell is the creativity in trolling people gone?

    April 24th, 2009 at 20:30

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