September 23rd, 2006

Figures

Posted in The Job - Comment by 200

Thank Christ for figures.

Figures is how people tell we do a good job. The more figures you have the better you are. We have lots of figures in the police and lots of people to count them.

The minute you ring the police the first figures kick in. We have to answer the call within 10 seconds or at least 85% of the calls within 10 seconds; there are stats for that. Then if it’s not an allegation of someone looking at someone else in a funny way, or a complaint of someone sending someone else a text message, or some such bollocks which makes up about 90% of police work, then we have assign a police officer within 3 minutes of getting the 999 call; there are stats for that. Then we have to arrive at the job within 15 minutes; there are stats for that. Then we have to try and arrest someone because there are nice big stats for arresting as many people as possible because it proves how well we do our job.

Most people don’t give a shit about figures, unless they are a senior officer, a civilian figure-counter or from the government. Most people don’t care if the phone is answered in 10 seconds or 15 seconds. What they want is to see a police officer some time the same day, the nearer to the time they actually made the call the better.

 There aren’t any figures for how many people are helped by police officers, so nobody is interested in providing a service which just helps people. A bit old fashioned but a shame none-the-less.

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