February 23rd, 2009

Women Drivers

The only RTCs I ever had while driving police vehicles involved women drivers. Not that I had that many -  three in thirty years isn’t too bad. For some reason, all of them were drunk at the time.

I got rear-ended by a woman while I was sat at a junction waiting to turn right. She could not even stand when I opened her door, she’d had so much booze & drugs. She didn’t even have the good grace to give me whiplash, though my observer suffered it. I don’t know to this day how much actual pain he was in afterwards nor for how long. He got paid out some time later.

Unfortunately, none of mine were caught on CCTV. Here’s a few that were…

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  1. Silverback says:

    The shot at the petrol pump had me spitting coffee at the monitor. :)

    February 24th, 2009 at 09:52

  2. bill says:

    So, so funny. Brilliant!

    February 24th, 2009 at 11:56

  3. Tony F says:

    I love those bollards!

    February 24th, 2009 at 14:38

  4. Stonehead says:

    One of my favourites came from the Land Rover mechanics who occasionally do major work on my Defender. I went in one day and found a totally trashed Range Rover Vogue SE sitting outside the workshop. The front end was stove in, the front wheels had been ripped off, and the roof was crumpled.

    I asked what had happened.

    The mechanics told me a bloke in the oil industry had bought it for his wife as a birthday present. She’d had it for a couple of days when a friend told her it could be used off-road.

    The wife thought this sounded great, so she drove it out of the garage, through a date into a field behind their country house, and then drove off—at speed.

    She was okay until the field ended in a steep-sided and deep drainage ditch, which she went into at about 50mph. The Range Rover’s front wheels hit the far side of the ditch and were ripped off. The car then went tail over nose and landed on its roof.

    The mechanics thought it hilarious.

    But it got better. The mechanics showed me another nearly new Vogue SE. It looked all right, but they told me the engine was totally knackered. Why? Because the lady owner of that one thought she’d top up the radiator—and poured about a couple of litres of water into the oil filler before starting the engine…

    February 25th, 2009 at 09:37

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