December 28th, 2008

Keep it in your trousers, son

Posted in The Job - Experience by 200

I used to worry that I had such a boring life. Well, that’s probably not true, worry’s  not really the right word. I’ve been quite a contented chap throughout my life, I suppose that’s why, after 30 years, I’m a PC.

I guess, being as I’m well into my middle-age, it’s more noticeable that I’m quite different from lots of my peers & colleagues. For a start, I’m much older than most of them. I often remark on how young the coppers are these days completely bypassing the fact that I joined as soon as I was 18 1/2.

I only have to check out Facebook to see how different my life is from all the young whipper-snappers. You won’t find a single photo of me with gel on my hair in some nightclub half-pissed with my arm round a mate, toasting the photographer with some gormless, drunken expression on my face.

On my rest days, at least for the last x-years, I’m to be found at home, with my family, I rarely go out on the piss, actually, I rarely go out.

When I need some fun or comfort in the bedroom department I can turn to my wife (providing there is a ‘z’ in the month & I have given 4 months’ notice & there is a solar eclipse due), I don’t need, or want to turn to the nearest female colleague who will give me 2 minutes of excitement & a lifetime of angst.

PCSO Bloggs, might call me one of those ‘holier than thou’ types, I don’t know. His current life appears to be far racier than mine. For a start he’s changed sex. Well, not literally, but in my mind. With a photo of a female PCSO on the blog since I became aware of it, I assumed he was a she. He has come out of the closet, so to speak, this week with the revelation that he is in fact a he! That’ll teach me to make assumptions.

He’s recently gone over to the light side & is currently training as a new sprog PC. His last 2 entries have been like an episode of the News of the World & Eastenders rolled into one. Turns out he’s shagging away from home, and having resultant er, problems.

He’s not the first, nor will he be the last. I’ve always assumed there is something unique about being a police officer and shagging around. Maybe it’s just that everyone does it no matter what occupation. I’ve certainly always been aware that there seem to be a higher proportion of mates  who are divorced or separated in the job than friends I’ve had outside the job.

Maybe there’s some sociological research which shows that working long hours on shifts with individuals who have more than just a working reliance on each other means they end up shagging. Or perhaps there is an element of power hunger in those who don the blue serge that they feel they need to conquer. Or maybe working amongst lowlife for so long grinds your own moral ethics down so badly that it’s easy to forget you ever had the morals to stay faithful. I don’t know.

I know loads of coppers, male & female, who have had affairs. If not joining them makes me ‘holier than thou’, I can live with that.

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  1. 19 says:

    I did leave a comment which basically said take responsibility for your actions and grow up, his blog has a whiny quality to it I abhor but strangely it hasn’t passed moderation. Weird that. Possibly I should just add one like the others and say it isn’t your fault mate, chin up ruining three other persons lives is just how it goes.

    December 29th, 2008 at 18:09

  2. annette says:

    My god, I am so glad that I am not the only one who’s noticed that pcso Bloggs has changed sex. There was a photo of ‘her’ at first with long blonde hair. Then Twining met her and he said that when she walked in ‘all eyes were on her’ because she was so attractive, I have just left a comment on twinings page and asked him to email me,I had his email but lost it when we were cut off by pipex. (long story!) I was going to ask Twining if he thought the same. We know it is a man now but it used to be a woman.I used to comment on her blog but I don’t know where I am with it now.
    Isn’t that funny you saying that now when it was only yesterday I wrote to Twining. I wondered how he felt about meeting a woman and then she changed sex.

    December 29th, 2008 at 18:23

  3. Martin says:

    I think the holier than thou comment was meant to summarise how many of the police bloggers never seem to question themselves or tell of times they did slip up or do something wrong. Exactly what 200 did by saying how hes never had an affair and manages just fine. In some way better than the pcso blogger.

    We all forget that the police are in a high stress job and that has certain effects on their personal lives. Even more so now with a lack of resources, money and bureaucratic nonsense in place.

    I like that he is letting us in to his personal life as well as his work life, it is something that is rare in police blogs, even if his morals are that of a sewer rat.

    December 29th, 2008 at 18:56

  4. anon says:

    Nah, you’re not holier than thou at all 200days.

    December 29th, 2008 at 22:42

  5. A special in Notts says:

    Since I joined the job, even in my small little way, I have noticed that all the ‘real’ cops, and by real I mean guys and girls that work on the street, deal with criminals and so on, rather than the managers, who I have luckily yet to come across, have one of two types of mentality when socialising.

    You get the quite ones, people like me, drink a bit, have a laugh, avoid attention most of the time, look out for each other and so on.

    And the louder ones, who shag around, need to be the centre of attention, get completely wasted and so on.

    Though, in the job we are all the same, having one of these predominent personality types doesn’t make you a good or bad cop, it is just another facet of yourself. And on the nights out, we all get along, we awknowledge we are different, we still smile, still laugh at the jokes, but don’t quite understand the others view-points, both sides thinking the others are missing out. It is sad in a way, but also completely human – and that is what we are at the end of the day. Completely human.

    Wow, that sounded slightly more philospohical than I meant it to.

    December 29th, 2008 at 23:38

  6. PC Plastic Fuzz says:

    Thanks Martin, I think.

    December 30th, 2008 at 19:45

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