December 21st, 2008

Please Mr. Postman

Posted in Other Stuff by 200

Nothing to do with policing but very seasonal. I now have positive proof that the Post Office is completely useless. (For the purposes of anonymity, I’ll use random locations.)

Last week we received a Christmas card in the post, nothing unusual in that except that it wasn’t addressed to us. We are used to the occasional mix up with the wrong post because we live in an area which has several variations of the road name, for instance, Brown Road, Brown Avenue & Brown Grove. As they are in the same area the postcodes are similar, although not the same, obviously.

Anyway, when I read the address I noticed that it should have gone to Brown Road & not Brown Grove.

But that wasn’t all. The town was different. If we lived in Bristol, then an equivalently distanced town to which this card was addressed was Brighton, i.e quite some distance away and only the first 3 letters of the towns were similar.

And that wasn’t all, the postcode written on the envelope was clearly a postcode not even in the same county, let alone region. As far as I could tell, the letter was addressed correctly to someone in Brighton but arrived at my house in Bristol. The writing on the envelope was clearly legible. It appeared that someone in a sorting office somewhere had seen this card & thrown it over his shoulder into whatever sorting bin was behind him at the time. I have no idea how modern Post Office Communications technology works but I’m guessing that at some stage, maybe even several stages, someone actually looks at the address on the item. Perhaps nobody can read these days, I know educashun’s not what it used to be, and all that. Perhaps everyone at the Post Office is pissed at this time of year, or maybe there’s some human right which says the ability to read should not be a bar to a job in a sorting office.

Being the helpful soul I am, I wrote on the front of the envelope in large red pen “BRIGHTON NOT BRISTOL” and popped it into the nearest post box safe in the knowledge that someone in Brighton would soon be receiving their misdirected card, hopefully in the same millennium. I thought no more about it.

Until today.

When the self same bloody Christmas card popped through my door again.  I thought I was in Groundhog Day when I saw it looking defiantly up at me from my doormat. I have no idea where it had been, probably the other side of Vanuatu & back.

The icing on the cake is the current franks they are putting on the post. In large black text clearly at the top of every delivered item is a reminder to check the postcode – if only someone would tell the Post Office.

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  1. Core blimey says:

    Not a very bright un, that postie.

    December 21st, 2008 at 21:01

  2. annette says:

    My god, I would loved to have seen your face when you picked that letter up! It must have been a picture.
    How I have laughed.
    But just what is going on in the post office?

    December 21st, 2008 at 21:07

  3. Tony F says:

    I wonder what happens to our own Dear Queen’s mail?

    And they wonder why it’s loosing money…

    December 21st, 2008 at 22:18

  4. Litew8 says:

    Aah… so it’s not just my post then?! I thought I was going mad!


    December 23rd, 2008 at 18:35

  5. blueknight says:

    or the important package sent Guildford and bearing the GU postcode was misread and sent to Glasgow with the GL postcode

    December 23rd, 2008 at 23:31

  6. Stonehead says:

    Our postie is brilliant.

    We recently received a letter for our boys, addressed to “Smallfry and Largefry, the place with black pigs, somewhere near Insch”. Another one was addressed to “D& L, the croft with black pigs, by Insch”.

    The postie left plastic bats and chocolates hanging from the post box on All Hallow’s Eve, and a couple of chocolate Father Christmases were found dancing on the top on Christmas Eve.

    And rather memorably I was having a shower one morning, after a particularly muck pig chasing episode, when there was a rap on the bathroom window. I opened the window, a hand came in with a card and pen, I signed, the hand withdrew and reappeared with a parcel, followed by the comment “don’t even think about asking me to wash your back!”

    There are still good posties out there.

    December 28th, 2008 at 17:40

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